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Promotion Offers Fans Free Pizza If Phillies Don't Blow Any Easy Plays In 5th Inning

The Onion - Fri, 2018-07-20 19:55

PHILADELPHIA—In an effort to boost attendance and reward fan’s patience with the young, error-prone ballclub, the Philadelphia Phillies announced a new promotion Friday offering fans free pizza if the team doesn’t blow any easy on plays while on defense in the top of the 5th inning. “We’re excited to offer our…

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Homeless Man Has Nice Summer Tan Going

The Onion - Fri, 2018-07-20 15:50

COLUMBUS, OH—Marveling at the bronzed perfection of the figure lounging in Goodale Park, sources confirmed Friday that homeless man Eddie Kowalcek had a really nice summer tan going. “Wow, that guy just looks incredible,” said Spencer Dawson, 26, adding that the evenly tanned homeless schizophrenic must have spent…

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Maria Butina Slips Away After Binding Half-Naked, Blindfolded Robert Mueller To Bed

The Onion - Fri, 2018-07-20 15:26

ARLINGTON, VA—Quietly climbing out from under the sheets and sliding on a trench coat, accused Russian agent Maria Butina slipped away Friday after binding the wrists of a half-naked, blindfolded Robert Mueller to a bed frame with silk scarves. “I’m sorry to duck out like this, but I’m running late for an important…

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WHO Eliminates Blindness-Causing Trachoma In Seven Countries

The Onion - Fri, 2018-07-20 14:22

The World Health Organization declared a major milestone after eliminating trachoma, a debilitating disease that causes blindness in sufferers, in seven countries, and making significant inroads in others. What do you think?

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Flight Attendant Demonstrates Proper Technique For Eating Fellow Passenger In Event Of Crash

The Onion - Fri, 2018-07-20 14:08

ATLANTA—As an audio recording provided clear instructions on the procedure during pre-flight safety announcements, a flight attendant for Delta Airlines reportedly walked down the aisle of flight 9143 to London Friday demonstrating the correct way to consume one’s fellow passengers following a crash. “In the unlikely…

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Review: Chinese Workers Strike against Runaway Factories

Steward's Corner - Fri, 2018-07-20 13:36

China has more strikes per year than any other country, many thousands. These strikes are often unplanned, spontaneous, even chaotic, and the bosses stop at nothing to suppress them: they lie, cheat, call in the police, and hire gangsters to intimidate strikers or even beat them up.

But the strikes keep happening—especially when it becomes clear, usually by the removal of machinery, that the owner is relocating the factory. These frequent relocations have one main cause: employers are moving to regions of China where the wages are lower.

Categories: Labor Notes

Review: Chinese Workers Strike against Runaway Factories

Magazine Stories - Fri, 2018-07-20 13:36

China has more strikes per year than any other country, many thousands. These strikes are often unplanned, spontaneous, even chaotic, and the bosses stop at nothing to suppress them: they lie, cheat, call in the police, and hire gangsters to intimidate strikers or even beat them up.

But the strikes keep happening—especially when it becomes clear, usually by the removal of machinery, that the owner is relocating the factory. These frequent relocations have one main cause: employers are moving to regions of China where the wages are lower.

Categories: Labor Notes

Dozens Of White Houses Materialize From Temporal Vortex As Trump’s Changing Account Of Putin Meeting Tears Apart Space-Time

The Onion - Fri, 2018-07-20 12:46

WASHINGTON—Revealing that the physical world could no longer bear the weight of numerous contradictory realities, sources confirmed Friday that dozens of Whites Houses have begun to leak from a temporal vortex as President Trump’s rapidly changing story of meeting Putin tears apart space-time. “A White House is…

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Comic-Con Fan Guesses He Enjoyed 60-Minute Panel Of Silently Masturbating Alan Moore Practicing Sex Magic

The Onion - Fri, 2018-07-20 12:38

SAN DIEGO—Reflecting while exiting the packed Indigo Ballroom, local Comic-Con attendee Matt Donnelly told reporters Friday that he guessed he enjoyed the 60-minute panel wherein comic-book writer Alan Moore silently masturbated and performed sex magic rituals. “Honestly, I was kind of hoping he’d talk about creating

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Peyton Manning’s Wife Quietly Asks How Much Longer Papa John Going To Crash On Their Couch

The Onion - Fri, 2018-07-20 11:58

INDIANAPOLIS—Frustrated by the heaps of soiled red polo shirts accumulating in her living room, Peyton Manning’s wife quietly asked Friday how much longer disgraced fast-food mogul and pitchman “Papa” John Schnatter would be crashing on their couch. “Honey, I didn’t mind when you said it would be a couple of nights,…

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Holding Wall Street Accountable

AFL-CIO Weblog - Fri, 2018-07-20 11:55
Holding Wall Street Accountable Getty Images

Tomorrow marks the eighth anniversary of the Dodd–Frank Wall Street Reform and Consumer Protection Act, a key piece of legislation passed to combat the dangerous corporate behavior that sparked the global financial crisis. A decade after the Great Recession, working people are fighting corporate assaults on these commonsense reforms. As AFL‑CIO President Richard Trumka said today, “The labor movement fought hard to win these protections for working people....We need more people whose financial decisions are protected and fewer hedge fund managers who gamble with our lives.”

At the AFL‑CIO Convention last year, working people recognized that Wall Street’s excessive wealth and power is corrupting our economy and our democracy. We resolved to fight back together, working to secure sound regulations that will reign in Wall Street excess, including:

  • Protecting the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau, which protects consumers from tricks and traps in consumer financial products like mortgages and credit cards.

  • Closing the tax loophole for private equity and hedge fund managers that allows these millionaires and billionaires to pay rates lower than middle-class professionals.

  • Closing the CEO performance pay loophole that encourages lavish executive pay packages at taxpayer expense.

  • Levying a tiny tax on Wall Street trades to generate revenue for investments in jobs, education and infrastructure.

  • Ending “too big to fail” banks by restoring a 21st century version of the Glass–Steagall Act’s division between commercial/consumer-oriented banks and investment banks.

  • Taking on Wall Street firms like private equity funds and big banks when they behave in ways that harm working people.

  • And fighting to expose corporate political spending and lobbying that undermines our democracy.

Kenneth Quinnell Fri, 07/20/2018 - 11:55

Senate Passes Bipartisan Resolution Preventing Themselves From Stopping Trump

The Onion - Fri, 2018-07-20 11:31

WASHINGTON—In a sharp rebuke of the President’s failure to denounce Russia for interfering in the 2016 election, the Senate passed a bipartisan resolution Friday preventing themselves from stopping Trump. “Today, in service to the American people, we set aside our differences and reached across the aisle to send…

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World's Oldest Bread Found At Prehistoric Site In Jordan

The Onion - Fri, 2018-07-20 11:13

Charred remains of a flatbread baked 14,500 years ago were found in the Eastern Mediterranean, revealing it was made thousands of years before humans began farming. What do you think?

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Scientists Theorize What Earliest Dinosaur Researchers May Have Looked Like

The Onion - Fri, 2018-07-20 10:45

BERKELEY, CA—Flexing their imaginations to the limit in an attempt to conceive how the majestic creatures may have lived all those centuries ago, scientists at University of California, Berkeley met Friday to theorize about what the first dinosaur researchers may have looked like. “Of course we can’t create an exact…

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True Patriotism: The Working People Weekly List

AFL-CIO Weblog - Fri, 2018-07-20 10:24
True Patriotism: The Working People Weekly List AFL-CIO

Every week, we bring you a roundup of the top news and commentary about issues and events important to working families. Here’s this week’s Working People Weekly List.

Trumka: True Patriotism in Missouri: "AFL‑CIO President Richard Trumka (UMWA) spoke at the Missouri AFL‑CIO’s 29th Biennial Convention yesterday, rallying a packed audience of local union leaders and working Missourians in the fight against Prop. A. He recalled the charge that President Franklin D. Roosevelt delivered to Americans in the midst of the Great Depression: 'True patriotism urges us to build an even more substantial America where the good things of life may be shared by more of us.'"

18 Regional Hot Dog Toppings for Your Union-Made Cookout: "When you fire up the grill, there’s a good chance your hot dog was made by a United Food and Commercial Workers (UFCW) member. Oscar Mayer, Boar's Head, Ball Park, Hebrew National and Nathan’s Famous hot dogs are all made by hardworking men and women in union-represented processing facilities across America. While the hot dog might be quintessentially American, what you choose to put on your dog can say a lot about where you live."

Social Security Administration Management Launches All-Out Attack on Our Union, Employees: "In yet another example of an irresponsible, undemocratic, unprecedented attempt to wipe out labor unions from the United States, the Trump administration has ordered federal agencies across the country to begin implementing the three controversial executive orders to obstruct our work fighting discrimination, retaliation and injustices in the federal workplace."

A Dark Veil: "The Trump administration on Tuesday rescinded the Department of Labor’s “persuader rule” requiring companies to disclose any consultants or lawyers contracted for anti-union persuasion efforts. The most recent in a series of anti-worker regulatory rollbacks, the decision has drawn harsh condemnation from union leaders and working people."

Stay Cool with These Ethical Summer Essentials: "Summer’s officially here and it’s time to tame those rays. Whether you’re embracing the blaze on a summer hike, beating the heat by the pool or enjoying that good old fun in the sun somewhere else, Labor 411 has a list of essentials for all your summer adventures. And when you choose one or more items from the list below, you will be supporting ethical companies that treat their employees well and give them good pay and benefits."

Trumka on Crooked Conversations Podcast: 'Collective Action Is on the Rise': "On this week's episode of Crooked Conversations, AFL-CIO President Richard Trumka sat down in Missouri for a live recorded conversation with Let America Vote President Jason Kander. The pair discussed the importance of unions, the rise of collective action and the future of the labor movement."

I’ve Worked for Tips for 60 Years. D.C. Council Should Listen to the Voters Who Want to Raise My Wages: "When people ask me when I’m going retire, my answer is always the same: About 15 minutes before I’m dead. I turn 70 this year, and I’ve been working in D.C.—always for tips—since I was 12. My first job, at the concession stand at Arena stage in the early 60s, was one of the better ones. My bosses were kind, and I got to watch the shows that came through town. By the time I got my second job, my wages were 66 cents an hour—not exactly the stuff nest eggs are made of."

Louis Re-elected as Missouri AFL-CIO President: "The Missouri AFL-CIO has chosen Mike Louis to continue in his role as president of the organization. 'Thank you to all of my sister and brother delegates for your support,' Louis said in a statement. 'I will continue to fight as hard as I can to save Missouri from the lies of right to work and to ensure that Missouri’s working-class families live in dignity. It is my honor and a privilege to continue to serve along with Jacob Hummel Secretary-Treasurer and Reggie Thomas Vice President as the President of the Missouri AFL-CIO.'"

Are Tariffs Being Used How They Are Supposed to Be?: "U.S. steel manufacturing is supposed to benefit from the administration tariffs says AFL -CIO trade specialist Celeste Drake. 'The workers who are in the steel and aluminum industry and the businesses that employ them I think are going to be the primary beneficiaries.'"

Stiglitz: Benefits of Multiple Layers of Financial Regulation So Much Higher Than Costs: "Joseph Stiglitz, a professor at Columbia University, who was the Nobel laureate in economics in 2001, spoke at a talk on Monday with Damon Silvers, the director of policy and special counsel at the AFL-CIO, part of a day-long strategy session on 'Bargaining for the Common Good in the World of Global Finance' held by the Friedrich-Ebert-Stiftung office in New York, a non-profit political German foundation."

Kenneth Quinnell Fri, 07/20/2018 - 10:24

Taking Responsibility: Mark Zuckerberg Has Announced That Any Articles Posted On Facebook Will Now Go Through Strict Vetting To Make Sure They Align With The Company’s Tireless Commitment To Generating Massive Amounts Of Revenue

The Onion - Fri, 2018-07-20 09:20

Mark Zuckerberg faced enormous public backlash this week after he defended Holocaust deniers’ right to disseminate their views on Facebook, but this morning he stepped up to allay Facebook users’ concerns in a big way: Zuckerberg announced that from now on, Facebook will rigorously vet the articles posted on its site…

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