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How To Make A Difference

Mon, 2017-11-13 13:59

Volunteer at the local park district. Planting a single tree can remove up to 30 Frisbees per year from the atmosphere.

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Facebook Asks For Users' Nude Photos To Combat Revenge Porn

Mon, 2017-11-13 11:46

A new Facebook initiative asks users to share their own explicit photos with the site so it can recognize the images and prevent someone else from maliciously posting them in the future. What do you think?

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Steven Spielberg Recalls Coming To Blows With E.T. On Film Set

Mon, 2017-11-13 11:34

LOS ANGELES—Saying it was by far the most unpleasant directing experience of his career, Steven Spielberg recalled Monday coming to blows with E.T. on the set of the 1982 film E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial. “I know a lot of people love the movie and love E.T., but working with him almost killed me,” said Spielberg,…

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Fox News Struggling To Attract Younger 60-75 Demographic

Mon, 2017-11-13 11:18

NEW YORK—Frustrated over its inability to penetrate the more lucrative market, Fox News is struggling to attract viewers in the younger 60-75-year-old demographic, sources reported Monday. “Despite pulling big numbers with the 76-to-90 crowd, there’s a lot more we can do to draw in that coveted 60-to-75 audience,”…

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Stadium Crowd Unsure When It Okay To Sit After Honoring WWII Veteran

Sun, 2017-11-12 13:04

BUFFALO, NY—Fearful of disrespecting the 91-year-old former naval aviator, the crowd at Ralph Wilson Stadium was reportedly unsure when it was okay to sit after honoring a WWII veteran before Sunday’s Bills game. “The speech is over and the applause are dying down, but he’s still hanging around out there,” said…

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Toddler Scientists Finally Determine Number Of Peas That Fit Into Ear Canal

Fri, 2017-11-10 18:23

NEW YORK—After years of speculation and countless failed experiments, leading toddler scientists announced Friday that they had finally determined the exact number of peas that fit into the ear canal. “Until today, it has been widely understood that only four peas could be stuffed into one’s ear, but our research has…

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Area Man Afraid Some Woman Might Come Out Of The Woodwork To Hold Him Accountable For Something

Fri, 2017-11-10 17:40

CHICAGO—Worrying that he could be caught off guard anywhere, at any time, area man Dan Moritz on Friday was reportedly afraid some woman might come out of the woodwork to hold him accountable for something. “I’m honestly starting to get a little freaked out that a woman could, out of nowhere, start demanding that I…

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Twitter Suspends Verification Process Over White Nationalist Scandal

Fri, 2017-11-10 16:54

Twitter has temporarily stopped verifying prominent accounts after users complained about the site awarding a verification badge to an outspoken white nationalist. What do you think?

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Neither Boss Nor Employee Paid Enough To Deal With Each Other

Fri, 2017-11-10 16:03

AUSTIN, TX—Simultaneously lamenting that “it’s every day with his bullshit,” both marketing analyst Evan Hall and his boss Jason Reade told reporters Friday that neither is paid enough to deal with each other. “I am definitely not getting enough money to show up at the office and put up with an asshole like this,”…

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Donna Brazile Says Hillary Rodham Clinton High Palace Of The Solar Order Was Almost Like A Cult

Fri, 2017-11-10 15:12

WASHINGTON—Providing a glimpse into the difficulties of working within the organization during the 2016 presidential campaign, Democratic political strategist Donna Brazile told reporters Thursday that the Hillary Rodham Clinton High Palace Of The Solar Order was almost like a cult. “From the very beginning of the…

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Tips For Writing Your College Admissions Essay

Fri, 2017-11-10 11:49

With applications due in just a few months, students are scrambling to write essays that showcase their academic prowess and personalities. Here are some tips for writing a great college application essay.

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Amazon In Talks For ‘Lord Of The Rings’ Streaming Series

Fri, 2017-11-10 11:37

Warner Bros. and Amazon are in talks with author J.R.R. Tolkien’s estate about creating a series based on The Lord Of The Rings novels. What do you think?

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Top Activities To Enjoy This Fall

Thu, 2017-11-09 18:44
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Disney Ends L.A. Times Ban After Backlash

Thu, 2017-11-09 18:02

After boycott threats from multiple publications, Disney ended its ban forbidding The Los Angeles Times from attending press screenings over a critical article. What do you think?

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Entirety Of Hollywood Film Industry Replaced With 40,000 Christopher Plummers

Thu, 2017-11-09 17:00

LOS ANGELES—In the wake of numerous sexual misconduct allegations against prominent figures in Hollywood, the entire film industry will reportedly be replaced by 40,000 Christopher Plummers, sources said Friday. “Going forward, veteran actor Christopher Plummer will write, direct, and star in every movie we make and…

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Obama Sinks Family Savings Into Developing Presidential Tabletop Game

Thu, 2017-11-09 15:38

WASHINGTON—Saying the financial risks and hours of hard work would pay off in the long term, former president Barack Obama revealed Thursday that he has sunk his entire life’s savings into the development of a tabletop game based on the American presidency.

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Report: Album As Good As ‘Sgt. Pepper’ Comes Out About Once Every Month

Thu, 2017-11-09 15:16

BOSTON—Dispelling the widely held notion that musical work of such a high caliber is uncommon, an analysis by Boston University music historians published Thursday found that albums as good as Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band are actually released about once a month. “Although the iconic Beatles record has…

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