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Updated: 22 hours 46 min ago

Pros And Cons Of CBD For Pets

Wed, 2020-03-25 12:53

One recent survey found that about 10% of dog and cat owners had given their pets cannabidiol, one of the active ingredients in marijuana. Advocates say giving pets CBD has benefits, while opponents warn that doing so can have unintended consequences. The Onion looks at the pros and cons of giving CBD to your pet.

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OGN Investigates: We Exposed An Orphan To Nothing But Violent Games For The First 12 Years Of His Life And While It Didn’t Make Him Violent He Sure Came Out Weird

Wed, 2020-03-25 10:41

Whether it’s fighting the belief that all gamers are antisocial weirdos or advocating for more inclusiveness in the medium’s protagonists, we here at OGN have always been dedicated to telling the truth about games. That is why we have undertaken a historic and undoubtedly forbidden investigation into one of the most…

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10 Photos Of Plus-Size Models We Deserve A Pat On The Back For Running

Wed, 2020-03-25 10:05

Watch us bravely shatter stereotypes by running a photo of this full-figured woman. We are a courageous media company and should really be applauded for what we are doing here, because it is groundbreaking.

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Everything You Need To Know About ‘Half-Life: Alyx’

Tue, 2020-03-24 17:38

Heralded as a bold new vision of virtual reality gaming and the next chapter in the Half Life saga to boot, Half-Life: Alyx certainly has a ton working in its favor. But what should you expect when you don a headset and launch this hotly anticipated title for the first time? Here’s everything you need to know about

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Woody Allen’s Memoir Released After Being Dropped By Original Publisher

Tue, 2020-03-24 17:23

Woody Allen’s memoir, Apropos Of Nothing, was released this week nearly a month after it was dropped by Hachette Book Group, who backed out of publishing the book following employee protests and an announcement by Allen’s son Ronan Farrow that he would no longer work with the company. What do you think?

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Trump Suggests Ceding New York To Coronavirus As Possible Appeasement Strategy

Tue, 2020-03-24 17:18

WASHINGTON—Mulling solutions to stop the disease’s rapid spread across the country, President Donald Trump reportedly suggested Tuesday ceding New York to the coronavirus as a possible appeasement strategy. “We are committed to looking at all options as we work through the invasion of this virus on our shores,…

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Russia Pledges To Run Completely Positive Disinformation Campaign In 2020

Tue, 2020-03-24 16:09

The same Russian internet trolls known for interfering with the 2016 election are taking a step back from the mud-slinging, and are committing themselves to only spreading nice lies this time around. But will it work?

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CDC Launches Coronavirus Bot For Americans To Check Symptoms

Tue, 2020-03-24 14:29

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention have launched Clara, a bot that asks users questions about their cold or flu-like symptoms and provides recommendations about whether to seek medical attention. What do you think?

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Trump Urges Loosening CDC Restrictions To Let Coronavirus Get To Work

Tue, 2020-03-24 13:55

WASHINGTON—Calling for an end to precautions such as social distancing and shelter-in-place mandates, President Donald Trump urged the loosening of CDC restrictions Tuesday to let Covid-19 get to work. “The economy is hurting—we must send the coronavirus back into our office buildings, schools, and factories,” said…

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Olympic Dressage Rider Enraged After Spending Past 4 Years Jauntily Trotting Around On Horse For Nothing

Tue, 2020-03-24 12:33

SOMERSWORTH, NH—Reeling from shock at the International Olympic Committee’s decision to postpone the 2020 Summer Games due to the coronavirus pandemic, dressage rider Adelaide Merriweather expressed fury Tuesday after spending the past four years jauntily trotting around on her horse for nothing. “After countless…

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Tips For Telecommuting

Tue, 2020-03-24 11:47
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6 Dogs Who Know How To Have Fun

Tue, 2020-03-24 09:00

Can’t tell Peanut he doesn’t know how to party. Guess how old this lovable mutt just turned in dog years!

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GOP Urges End Of Quarantine For Lifeless Bipedal Automatons That Make Economy Go

Mon, 2020-03-23 18:32

WASHINGTON—In an effort to contain the disastrous financial fallout resulting from the spread of Covid-19, economic advisor Larry Kudlow joined numerous GOP leaders Monday in urging an end of self-quarantine for the lifeless bipedal automatons that make the economy go. “We can’t allow this virus to completely upend…

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God Possesses Pope Francis’s Body, Spins Head Around In Miraculous Sunday Mass

Mon, 2020-03-23 16:31

The Creator of Heaven and Earth spoke directly to his followers yesterday by forcing Pope Francis to crab walk on the ceiling of St. Peter’s Basilica.

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Restless Trump Can’t Believe He Stuck Inside With Nothing To Do But Be President

Mon, 2020-03-23 16:21

WASHINGTON— Expressing frustration with the social-isolation measures in place amid the novel Covid-19 pandemic, a restless Donald Trump confirmed Monday that he couldn’t believe he was stuck inside with nothing to do except be president. “Jesus Christ, I’m so goddamn bored of sitting around all day being commander in…

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Coronavirus Forces Landlord To Cut Back On Taking Care Of Building From 1 To 0 Hours A Week

Mon, 2020-03-23 15:46

CHICAGO—Lamenting the fact that he’d had to postpone his weekly unannounced visits to tenants until further notice, local landlord Rudy Jacobson told reporters Monday that the coronavirus had forced him to cut back on taking care of his building from one to zero hours a week. “Based on the city’s most recent…

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