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Luddite In 2070 Refuses To Merge Consciousness With Self-Driving Hyundai Elantra

Tue, 2019-12-17 09:30

ULTRA-TOPEKA, KS—Holding his hand over the USB port implanted below his left ear, local Luddite Thomas Berkshire reportedly refused to merge consciousness Tuesday with his new self-driving 2070 Hyundai Elantra. “Uh oh, big scary technology is gonna steal Thomas’s very essence if he plugs in his brain stem to the car’s…

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Writers Retreat Gives Aspiring Novelists Opportunity To Receive Critical Feedback From Other Nobodies

Tue, 2019-12-17 08:30

GLEN FALLS, NY—Revealing that her lousy peers’ advice had been invaluable, aspiring novelist Alicia Duncan confirmed Tuesday that the writer’s retreat she’s attending provides a great opportunity to receive critical feedback from other nobodies. “It’s been incredible to spend the week getting diverse perspectives on…

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