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Spotify May Allow Unlimited Ad Skipping For Free Users

The Onion - Sun, 2018-08-19 12:06

Streaming app Spotify is testing a new feature in Australia that allows non-paying users to skip an unlimited number of ads, allowing them to better track information about which ads users do and do not skip. What do you think?

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Categories: The Onion

Ditching Tight Pants Improves Sperm Count

The Onion - Sat, 2018-08-18 10:57

Researchers at Harvard found that individuals wearing boxer shorts had a 25 percent higher sperm concentration those in tight-fitting underwear, most likely due to the cooler temperatures inside boxers. What do you think?

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Categories: The Onion

Germany Running Out Of Beer Bottles

The Onion - Fri, 2018-08-17 17:48

Due to unusually high temperatures, German beer consumption has risen rapidly, causing a shortage in the over 3 billion beer bottles in circulation. What do you think? 

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Categories: The Onion

Vatican On Sex Abuse Report: ‘Listen, No Normal Person Is Going To Sign Up To Be A Priest’

The Onion - Fri, 2018-08-17 16:03

VATICAN CITY—Following a Pennsylvania grand jury’s report on widespread sexual abuse of children by priests and a cover-up that spanned decades, the Vatican released a statement Friday saying “listen, no normal person is going to sign up to be a priest.” “Look, we ask an awful lot of ordained priests and make them…

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Categories: The Onion

Server Unbelievably Touched To Be Asked Own Opinion On Whether Enchiladas Or Burger Better Choice

The Onion - Fri, 2018-08-17 15:32

NOVI, MI—Vowing to give such an important request the respect it deserves, local Chili’s server Melissa Cortez told reporters Friday that she was unbelievably touched to be asked by a customer for her opinion on whether the enchiladas or burger was a better choice. “Oh, wow, for a lowly waiter like me to be asked by a…

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Categories: The Onion

Portrait Next To Coffin Most Likely The Deceased

The Onion - Fri, 2018-08-17 15:27

EAST STROUDSBURG, PA—Intuiting that the close placement of the two objects was most likely not coincidental, funeral attendee Bryan Abboud made the assumption Friday that the man depicted in a portrait next to the coffin was more than likely the deceased. “Unless I’m missing something here, that’s got to be the dead…

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Categories: The Onion

AFT Identifies Companies that Profit from Family Separation Policies

AFL-CIO Weblog - Fri, 2018-08-17 13:57
AFT Identifies Companies that Profit from Family Separation Policies AFT

One of the most heartbreaking news stories of 2018 is the Trump administration's decision to separate undocumented immigrant families that enter the United States.The AFL-CIO, the AFT and other advocates for working people have condemned this policy and called for families to be reunited. As part of this effort, the AFT has issued a new report to inform pension trustees and the working people they represent about companies that are profiting off of family separation and mass incarceration.

First, there are the companies that directly profit from the family separation policy. They build and operate the facilities used to detain immigrants or provide support services to those facilities. These companies include:

  • CoreCivic: Formerly known as Corrections Corporation of America, the nation's largest private prison company owns and operates eight immigration detention centers.
  • GEO Group: A company that operates private prisons and operates family detention centers.
  • General Dynamics: A top defense contractor, the company provides case management services at youth detention centers.

Second, there are the companies that provide financing to CoreCivic and GEO Group. These companies include:

  • BlackRock
  • JPMorgan Chase & Co.
  • Wells Fargo

These companies may hold direct shares in the companies that profit from the policy, or they may have indirect investments in those companies through index, private equity or hedge funds. 

AFT will issue a follow-up report that identifies individual investment managers who profit from private prisons and the mass incarceration of people of color.

Read the full report to learn more.

Kenneth Quinnell Fri, 08/17/2018 - 13:57

Girlfriend Slowly Becoming Radicalized By New Skin-Care Blog

The Onion - Fri, 2018-08-17 13:09

SPRINGVILLE, UT—Concerned by the disturbing changes in her behavior since she discovered the site earlier this year, local man Derek Wilkinson told reporters Friday he worries his girlfriend, Katie Spencer, has started to become radicalized by a skin-care blog.

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Categories: The Onion

‘Paw Patrol’ Writers Defend Episode Where German Shepherd Cop Shoots Unarmed Black Lab 17 Times In Back

The Onion - Fri, 2018-08-17 12:44

LOS ANGELES—Explaining that their goal has always been to hold a mirror to society, whether focusing on the power of friendship or a racially motivated killing, the writers behind the hit children’s television series PAW Patrol defended a recent episode of the show Friday in which a German shepherd “police pup” shoots…

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Categories: The Onion

Pros And Cons Of Mobile Payment Apps

The Onion - Fri, 2018-08-17 12:02

The number of people using mobile payment apps like Apple Pay and Venmo continues to rise, although there are concerns that their convenience could come at the cost of security. The Onion breaks down the pros and cons of mobile payment apps.

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Categories: The Onion

World’s Religious Leaders Admit They Just Love Getting To Wear Frilly Little Gowns And Having A Blast

The Onion - Fri, 2018-08-17 12:00

JERUSALEM—Talking of the deep satisfaction they feel when slipping on a gilded robe and chilling out with devotees, world leaders from Christianity, Islam, Hinduism, and every other major religion admitted Friday that they just love getting to wear frilly little gowns and having a blast. “Yeah, what can I say? We just…

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Categories: The Onion

Do They Care? What Working People Are Doing This Week

AFL-CIO Weblog - Fri, 2018-08-17 10:48
Do They Care? What Working People Are Doing This Week Bricklayers

Welcome to our regular feature, a look at what the various AFL-CIO unions and other working family organizations are doing across the country and beyond. The labor movement is big and active—here's a look at the broad range of activities we're engaged in this week.

A. Philip Randolph Institute:

Our president is one of the greatest! https://t.co/x2AkDm28fe

— APRI National (DC) (@APRI_National) August 15, 2018

Actors' Equity Association:

This week’s #EquityWorks highlight is of @AmericanPlayers. Read a quick overview of the current LORT Agreement here - https://t.co/sZsub3QPqi pic.twitter.com/Pe31fLA2zC

— Actors' Equity (@ActorsEquity) August 16, 2018

AFGE:

California AFGE members visited their state legislators yesterday to pass #AJR51 and send a message to Washington: #EOHellNO. pic.twitter.com/jHCJR4zgik

— AFGE (@AFGENational) August 17, 2018

AFSCME:

Republican state legislator in Maine admits he was wrong about public-sector unions https://t.co/fxAsD1CtOx via @AFSCME93 #1u #union

— AFSCME (@AFSCME) August 17, 2018

AFT:

"@rweingarten, president of the AFT (the parent union of the @OhioNursesAssoc) issued a statement calling the move a 'cruel, callous move that will hurt the Youngstown community.'" More on the closing of Northside Regional Medical Center in Youngstown: https://t.co/Xbp1hgBoFh

— AFT (@AFTunion) August 17, 2018

Air Line Pilots:

Aviation Industry Urges U.S. Senate Leadership to Pass a Long-Term @FAANews Reauthorization: https://t.co/8UtoSB37aD @GAManufacturers

— ALPA (@WeAreALPA) August 15, 2018

Alliance for Retired Americans:

Judge Kavanaugh is a threat to our healthcare and he is dangerous for working and older Americans. Call your Senator now at 866-828-4162 and tell them to reject his nomination! https://t.co/j0dZlsCOAq #SaveACA #1u #ForThePeople pic.twitter.com/nR8xfotCoW

— Alliance Retirees (@ActiveRetirees) August 16, 2018

Amalgamated Transit Union:

Metro must pay $82 million in wage increases to thousands of workers, arbitration panel says https://t.co/ywhRNX0aoQ #1u #publictransit #transit

— ATU, Transit Union (@ATUComm) August 16, 2018

Asian Pacific American Labor Alliance:

APALA San Francisco Chapter hosted a press conference with partners (@AnakbayanUSA and others) last week after a successful action to pressure community festival, Pistahan, to disassociate itself with anti-worker company, NutriAsia. https://t.co/9HxxsMMQaE

— APALA (@APALAnational) August 13, 2018

Association of Flight Attendants-CWA:

Today, we remember the six crew members, 147 passengers and two people killed on the ground after Northwest Airlines Flight 255 crashed shortly after takeoff from Detroit Metropolitan Airport on August 16, 1987. https://t.co/lXXwNXMx4H pic.twitter.com/qPpvCw7ZN5

— AFA-CWA (@afa_cwa) August 16, 2018

BCTGM:

From the Convention floor: All Resolutions submitted by the BCTGM General Executive Board have been adopted. Go here to read the full text of the Resolutions: https://t.co/vdzBkakxfY | #BCTGM2018

— BCTGM International (@BCTGM) August 14, 2018

Boilermakers:

MT @GovernorBullock called #Boilermakers L-D239 lockout a "unicorn," bc the state hasn't had a union lockout since the 80s. Even more reason to #standwiththreeforks. Thank you for standing w/ L-D239, Governor! #MTnews, @mtaflcio, @bobfunk https://t.co/dFJwEPxNp5 pic.twitter.com/0XaYXmneL3

— Boilermakers Union (@boilermakernews) August 15, 2018

Bricklayers:

Please sign this petition to expose unsafe working conditions & the lack of Local labor at Cornell University: https://t.co/carm926YAv #DoesCornellCare #1u #construction @CornellUnivers pic.twitter.com/6YCpdUsXlX

— Bricklayers Union (@IUBAC) August 17, 2018

Coalition of Black Trade Unionists:

Children yet to be born will inherit royalty: the Queen of Soul. #arethafranklin #RESPECT pic.twitter.com/6vlLv2aYqL

— CBTU (@CBTU72) August 16, 2018

Communications Workers of America:

CWAers at @verizon & at Verizon Connected Solutions voted to ratify a 4yr extension of their contracts. The extensions provide for additional wage increases and enhanced retirement benefits for over 34k Verizon workers. RT to congratulate the workers! #1u https://t.co/b6lFVYBml5

— CWA (@CWAUnion) August 17, 2018

Department for Professional Employees:

Nonprofit professionals see

Man Not Even The Hot Kind

The Onion - Fri, 2018-08-17 09:57
Categories: The Onion

West Hollywood Urges Removal of Trump’s Walk of Fame Star

The Onion - Fri, 2018-08-17 09:36

The West Hollywood City Council approved a symbolic vote in support of removing President Trump’s star from the Walk of Fame, although the ultimate decision is governed by the Hollywood Chamber of Commerce. What do you think?

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Categories: The Onion

Viewpoint: Unions Aren’t Exclusive Clubs—We Fight for All Workers

Steward's Corner - Fri, 2018-08-17 09:16

Editor's note: This viewpoint is part of an ongoing debate about how unions should deal with free riders. Check out previous installments here.

Viewpoints

Introduction: How Should Unions Deal With Free Riders?

Categories: Labor Notes

Viewpoint: Unions Aren’t Exclusive Clubs—We Fight for All Workers

Magazine Stories - Fri, 2018-08-17 09:16

Editor's note: This viewpoint is part of an ongoing debate about how unions should deal with free riders. Check out previous installments here.

Viewpoints

Introduction: How Should Unions Deal With Free Riders?

Categories: Labor Notes

Trumpet Player Wishes Someone Would Sound Horns For Him When He Entered Castle Gates For Once

The Onion - Fri, 2018-08-17 01:05

EOFERWIC, BRITANNIA—Saying that it really wasn’t such a grandiose request after years of loyal servitude, Ilbert Hildebrondus, a local court trumpeter at the Old Baile Keep, confirmed Wednesday he wishes that, just once, someone would sound the horns for him as he entered the castle gates. “All I’m saying is that one…

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Categories: The Onion

Head On Pike Really Pulling Together Castle’s Look

The Onion - Fri, 2018-08-17 01:00

EAST FENS, BRITANNIA—Visitors and residents remarked this week that the severed, pike-mounted head of Duke Robert de L’Alsace, which was installed overlooking the moat outside the western portcullis of Castle Colgrave “doth quite pull together the castle’s look.” “Any fortified residence may sport pennants, crenelated…

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Categories: The Onion

Hotshot Peasant Has Window

The Onion - Fri, 2018-08-17 01:00

HOBSCROSS, BRITANNIA—Taking exception with the flashy, non-accidental opening in the Western wall of the thatched hut, the serf community expressed disapproval Monday after discovering that Ernault Bauldry, a hotshot peasant and laborer in Hobscross fields, has a window. “Well, la-di-dah, look who’s putting on airs…

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Categories: The Onion
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