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Maybelline Announces It Will Stop Testing New Products On Unsuspecting Customers In The Middle Of The Night

The Onion - Thu, 2019-02-14 10:00

NEW YORK—Emphasizing that the “secret program” would be forever suspended, Maybelline global president Leonardo Chavez announced Thursday that the company would stop testing new products on unsuspecting customers in the middle of night. “As of today, Maybelline will no longer test any of our products—including…

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Categories: The Onion

Congress Reaches Tentative Deal For Border Security Deal

The Onion - Thu, 2019-02-14 09:24

Congressional negotiators have reached a tentative deal to avert a shutdown, providing $1.375 billion for 55 new miles of border fencing in Texas’ Rio Grande Valley area, which some conservative pundits have criticized as far short of Trump’s requested amount. What do you think?

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Categories: The Onion

USA : Denver teachers fight against austerity

LabourStart US - Thu, 2019-02-14 01:03
Source: Education International

Bangladesh: Bangladesh Government set to throw away Accord achievements

LabourStart - Wed, 2019-02-13 20:00
LabourStart headline - Source: IndustriALL

Italy: Unions mobilise for 'A future for work!'

LabourStart - Wed, 2019-02-13 20:00
LabourStart headline - Source: IUF

Spacecraft Travel From All Over Galaxy To Honor End Of Opportunity Rover’s Life

The Onion - Wed, 2019-02-13 17:41

MARS—Journeying thousands of lightyears to honor their fallen peer, spacecraft traveled from all over the Milky Way to attend a ceremony celebrating the late Opportunity rover’s life, sources close to the deceased reported Wednesday. “We came as soon as we received the gamma-ray transmission informing us of…

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Categories: The Onion

Authorities Swiftly Announce 1,600 Washington Dairy Cows Found Mutilated, Arranged In Pentagram Killed By Blizzard

The Onion - Wed, 2019-02-13 17:37

SUNNYSIDE, WA—Asserting that the matter was a simple weather-related livestock incident requiring no particular investigation, Washington state authorities announced first thing Wednesday morning that an unusually intense blizzard was responsible for the deaths of 1,600 mutilated dairy cows found arranged in a…

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Categories: The Onion

‘National Geographic’ Increases Ideological Diversity By Hiring First Anti-Tree-Frog Writer

The Onion - Wed, 2019-02-13 12:45

WASHINGTON—As part of an ongoing effort to promote voices historically neglected by the magazine, National Geographic announced Wednesday that it would expand the ideological diversity of its masthead by hiring its first-ever writer opposed to tree frogs. “We grow stronger as a publication when we are able to provide…

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Categories: The Onion

Suicide Rates Falling Worldwide

The Onion - Wed, 2019-02-13 12:08

A Global Burden of Disease analysis found that deaths per 100,000 people declined 32.7 percent since 1990, a promising finding that researchers attribute to greater spending on prevention. What do you think?

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Sensei’s Assistant Really Getting His Ass Whipped

The Onion - Wed, 2019-02-13 12:02

SHAKER HEIGHTS, OH—Visibly wincing while watching the sensei’s assistant being slammed repeatedly to the tatami mat, onlookers at Buckeye Aikido Academy confirmed Wednesday that understudy Barry Eiselmann was getting his ass absolutely whipped during a demonstration of basic takedowns. “Wow, he just fucking threw him…

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Categories: The Onion

Timeline Of Artificial Intelligence

The Onion - Wed, 2019-02-13 11:53

Artificial intelligence has been at the forefront of technological innovation for decades, giving rise to thrilling possibilities as well as provoking controversy about its potential consequences for humankind. The Onion presents a timeline of artificial intelligence.

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Categories: The Onion

USA : T-Mobile, Sprint execs defend merger: CWA predicts job cuts

LabourStart US - Wed, 2019-02-13 10:23
Source: Albany Times Union
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