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Fox News Intern Fetching Coffee Tells Herself This Will All Pay Off When She Trump’s Secretary Of State One Day

The Onion - Fri, 2018-12-07 15:31

NEW YORK—In an effort to cope with the stressful task of fetching coffee for demanding staffers, Fox News intern Hattie Butler reportedly told herself Friday that this would all pay off when she was named President Trump’s secretary of state one day. “It’s really tough to keep everyone’s drink orders straight, but the…

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Categories: The Onion

Mom Sends Blurry, Indistinct Photo Of Computer Screen Showing Boots You Might Like

The Onion - Fri, 2018-12-07 14:51

CAPITOLA, CA—Claiming that the footwear in question would go nicely with a lot of things in your wardrobe, your mother sent you a blurry and indistinct photo of her home computer screen Friday ostensibly displaying a pair of boots you might like. “I was looking at the internet and thought of you when I saw these on…

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Categories: The Onion

Review: ‘Super Smash Bros. Ultimate’ Sunk By Unforgivable Inclusion Of Kirby, One Of The Most Offensive Harmful Stereotypes To Ever Appear In Popular Entertainment

The Onion - Fri, 2018-12-07 14:39

One of the most anticipated releases of 2018, Super Smash Bros. Ultimate is a fun, but undeniably compromised gaming experience. Ultimate pulls out all the stops to give fans the biggest, most finely tuned Smash Bros. experience to date. It’s a tight, balanced, action-packed brawler filled out with over 70 of your…

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Categories: The Onion

This Hotel A Goddamn Maze, Reports Father

The Onion - Fri, 2018-12-07 13:44

JANESVILLE, WI—Claiming that one would need a degree from Harvard just to find the front desk, Illinois father of three Tom Rutledge confirmed Friday that the Holiday Inn Express in Janesville, WI was a goddamn maze. “I don’t get why they designed it like this,” said 52-year-old Rutledge of the four-story, mid-priced…

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Categories: The Onion

Man Worried The 6th ‘Transformers’ Movie Will Just Be Stupid

The Onion - Fri, 2018-12-07 13:32

EUGENE, OR—Concerned that the newest chapter of the franchise would underwhelm viewers with a senseless, inane plot and shallow two-dimensional characters, moviegoer Marc Davis expressed worries Friday that sixth Transformers movie The Last Knight might just be stupid. “I’m a little anxious that this sixth movie is…

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Categories: The Onion

I May Not Be The Prettiest Girl In The Room, But What I Do Have Is A Gun

The Onion - Fri, 2018-12-07 13:25

I get it. I’m not much of a looker. I know I’m not ugly or anything, but I have enough humility to recognize there are women out there who, by any conventional standard, are far more attractive than I am. There’s a lot more to a person than looks, though, and as it happens, I have a lot more to offer. In fact, I have…

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Categories: The Onion

L.A. Adds Lanes For Cyclists To Recover From Getting Hit By Cars

The Onion - Fri, 2018-12-07 13:15

LOS ANGELES—In an effort to improve riding conditions for the city’s long-neglected bikers, Los Angeles officials announced Friday a $10 million plan to add lanes for cyclists to recover from getting hit by cars. “L.A. has fallen short of bike-friendly places like Portland and Philadelphia for years, which is why the…

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Categories: The Onion

Swept Up in France's Yellow Vest Protests

Steward's Corner - Fri, 2018-12-07 13:14

I’ve never been tear gassed before. The smell is similar to fireworks and the effect is explosive—and effective. I immediately wanted to get as far away as I could from the noxious source of burning eyes and throat.

I was in Paris when France’s “yellow vest” (gilet jaune) movement shut down the center of the city.

There were thousands of demonstrators, all wearing the bright yellow safety vests drivers are required by law to have in their cars.

Categories: Labor Notes

Swept Up in France's Yellow Vest Protests

Magazine Stories - Fri, 2018-12-07 13:14

I’ve never been tear gassed before. The smell is similar to fireworks and the effect is explosive—and effective. I immediately wanted to get as far away as I could from the noxious source of burning eyes and throat.

I was in Paris when France’s “yellow vest” (gilet jaune) movement shut down the center of the city.

There were thousands of demonstrators, all wearing the bright yellow safety vests drivers are required by law to have in their cars.

Categories: Labor Notes

Economy Gains 155,000 Jobs in November; Unemployment Unchanged at 3.7%

AFL-CIO Weblog - Fri, 2018-12-07 12:32
Economy Gains 155,000 Jobs in November; Unemployment Unchanged at 3.7%

The U.S. economy gained 155,000 jobs in November, and unemployment was unchanged at 3.7%, according to figures released this morning by the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics. The labor market can be a leading indicator for the economy. Soft wage growth has been accompanied by weaker auto sales than typical for this low level of unemployment, leading General Motors to plan plant closings, and slowing home sales point to stresses for workers and the household sector of the economy. The Federal Reserve needs to move with great caution and hold off on more rate increases.

In response to the November job numbers, AFL-CIO Chief Economist William Spriggs tweeted:

#JobReport Payroll employment up 155,000 in November, unemployment rate steady at 3.7% Over the year, wages were up 3.1% not impressive enough numbers for the @federalreserve to maintain increasing interest rates @AFLCIO

— William E. Spriggs (@WSpriggs) December 7, 2018

#JobsReport Labor Force Participation rates remain flat overall, the Black and white rates remain similar, both near 62.2% for Blacks 62.9% for whites. @AFLCIO @rolandsmartin pic.twitter.com/1s8Rt1wCA4

— William E. Spriggs (@WSpriggs) December 7, 2018

A look at the question of structural unemployment issues: unemployment rate falls for high school dropouts to 5.6%, and high school grads to 3.5%, while it edges up for college (less than bachelors) 3.0 to 3.1 and bachelor's (or more) 2.0 to 2.2% #JobsReport @AFLCIO

— William E. Spriggs (@WSpriggs) December 7, 2018

A look at structural unemployment questions: Here's the recent history of unemployment rates for computer related occupations--very strong cyclical component and little different from just college educated workers, generally. #JobsReport @AFLCIO pic.twitter.com/49hbSKJQiA

— William E. Spriggs (@WSpriggs) December 7, 2018

#JobsReport A quick graphical summary of job gains (losses) by industry and earnings (thanks @BLS_gov ) only losing industries were above average wages, biggest gains were below average wage industries @AFLCIO pic.twitter.com/EqkxniZ6cd

— William E. Spriggs (@WSpriggs) December 7, 2018

We won't grow as a nation if we don't increase public investment in education, these declines in state and local education are not good signs for the future @AFTunion @AFLCIO @AFSCME #JobsReport pic.twitter.com/Rx7URL4jgo

— William E. Spriggs (@WSpriggs) December 7, 2018

GM layoffs are yet to come, but auto sector already shows weakness, down 800 in November and 1,800 over the year, @UAW @AFLCIO #JobsReport This is an interest sensitive industry the @federalreserve needs to be watching more closely

— William E. Spriggs (@WSpriggs) December 7, 2018

Bad sign, @IWPResearch @HeidiatIWPR : Last month, more unemployed women dropped out of the labor force (811.000) than found work (731,000) -- reversing recent trend and opposite the success of men #JobsReport @AFLCIO https://t.co/IPzxmzhpO2

— William E. Spriggs (@WSpriggs) December 7, 2018

Last month's biggest job gains were in health care (32,000), professional and business services (32,000), manufacturing (27,000), transportation and warehousing (25,000) and retail trade (18,000). Employment in other major industries—including mining, construction, wholesale trade, information, financial activities, leisure and hospitality, and government—showed little change over the month.  

Among the major worker groups, the unemployment rates for teenagers (12%), blacks (5.9%), Hispanics (4.5%), adult women (3.4%), whites (3.4%), adult men (3.3%) and Asians (2.7%) showed little or no change in November.

The number of long-term unemployed (those jobless for 27 weeks or more) declined slightly in November and accounted for 20.8% of the unemployed.

Kenneth Quinnell Fri, 12/07/2018 - 11:32

Top Agenda Items In Upcoming Democratic-Majority House

The Onion - Fri, 2018-12-07 11:40

The Democratic Party will retake control of the House of Representatives after gaining a net total of 40 seats in the 2018 midterm elections. The Onion examines the items headlining the Democrats’ agenda as they lead the 116th U.S. Congress.

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Categories: The Onion

The Swimsuit Issue

The Onion - Fri, 2018-12-07 11:38
Categories: The Onion

Tumblr To Ban All Adult Content

The Onion - Fri, 2018-12-07 11:33

Tumblr, the social blogging platform, will ban all X-rated content and most nudity in an effort to create a “better, more positive” environment. What do you think?

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Categories: The Onion

State of the Unions: The Working People Weekly List

AFL-CIO Weblog - Fri, 2018-12-07 11:01
State of the Unions: The Working People Weekly List AFL-CIO

Every week, we bring you a roundup of the top news and commentary about issues and events important to working families. Here’s this week’s Working People Weekly List.

‘State of the Unions’ Podcast with Brad Markell: ‘What’s Wrong with GM’: “Recently, the AFL-CIO launched another tool to bring you the issues and stories that matter to working people. In the latest episode of our podcast, State of the Unions,’ we talk to longtime UAW member and AFL-CIO Industrial Union Council Executive Director Brad Markell about General Motors’ recent decision to close five North American plants, costing up to 14,000 workers their jobs.”

Remembering George H.W. Bush’s Commitment to Public Service: “President George H.W. Bush will be laid to rest at a state funeral today. Remembrances have been flowing in from across the political spectrum, but one thing we all can agree on is that Bush lived a life that was devoted to public service, not only for himself, but for those who answered his call for all of us to help our fellow Americans.”

Stop the Lame-Duck Power Grabs: “After losing the top offices in Wisconsin and Michigan, anti-worker legislators are trying to strip powers from Govs.-elect Tony Evers and Gretchen Whitmer, respectively—before they are even sworn in. Doing so would have enormous negative consequences for working people in both states. We must stop these outrageous lame-duck power grabs.”

Infrastructure Matters. It’s Time to Get Serious About Funding It: “One hundred billion dollars is a lot of money. With that much cash you could buy four Starbucks lattes for every living human on the planet. (That’s 33 billion lattes in total, if you’re counting.) If coffee is not really your thing, consider buying every single NFL team three times over. Don’t like sports? You and the record-holding Powerball winner can compare piles of cash and together marvel at how yours is 63 times taller.”

Tuesday’s Gone, But Don’t Stop Giving: What Working People Are Doing This Week: “Welcome to our regular feature, a look at what the various AFL-CIO unions and other working family organizations are doing across the country and beyond. The labor movement is big and active—here’s a look at the broad range of activities we’re engaged in this week.”

‘State of the Unions’ Podcast with Richard Trumka: ‘I’ve Never Been More Optimistic’: “Recently, the AFL-CIO launched another tool to bring you the issues and stories that matter to working people. Welcome to the latest episode of our podcast, State of the Unions,’ where we talk to AFL-CIO President Richard Trumka about the midterm elections and the future of the labor movement.”

The U.S. Mail Is Not for Sale: “The American Postal Workers Union (APWU) just released a new ad in support of its U.S. Mail Not for Sale campaign. The campaign is a worker-led effort that brings together working people, elected officials and member organizations of A Grand Alliance to Save Our Public Postal Service to fight plans to privatize the U.S. Postal Service.”

Kenneth Quinnell Fri, 12/07/2018 - 10:01
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