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Friend Who Doesn’t Drink Announces Plans To Buy Weirdest Fucking Soda Imaginable

The Onion - Tue, 2022-06-21 06:45

MILWAUKEE—Stressing that he would much rather indulge in something flavored with huckleberry or an essence of sarsaparilla, Jason Torres, a local friend who doesn’t drink, announced plans Tuesday to buy the weirdest fucking soda imaginable. “Yes, I used to enjoy alcohol, but now I prefer to drink new and fun things…

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Categories: The Onion

Texans Explain Why They Are Voting For Greg Abbott

The Onion - Tue, 2022-06-21 06:35

After taking a hard-line stance on issues like abortion, trans rights, and gun control, Gov. Greg Abbott is up for reelection in Texas. The Onion asked supporters why they are voting for him, and this is what they said.

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Categories: The Onion

BTK Ready To Start Dating Again

The Onion - Tue, 2022-06-21 06:00

EL DORADO, KS—Saying he’d had time to work through many of his personal issues, El Dorado Correctional Facility inmate and serial murderer Dennis Rader, known as the BTK killer, told reporters Tuesday he was ready to start dating again. “Though I haven’t been the best partner—or even person—in the past, I’ve done a…

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Categories: The Onion

Mental Health Experts Warn Lack Of Purpose, Accomplishments Could Be Sign Democratic Leaders Depressed

The Onion - Tue, 2022-06-21 05:30

WASHINGTON—Noting that such behavior pointed to a textbook diagnosis of the psychological disorder, Georgetown University mental health researchers released a study Tuesday warning that the lack of purpose, accomplishments, and all-around drive among the nation’s Democratic leaders could be a sign they are depressed.…

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Categories: The Onion

China Says It May Have Detected Signals From Alien Civilizations

The Onion - Mon, 2022-06-20 07:31

Scientists in China have claimed that the country’s enormous “Sky Eye” telescope may have picked up trace signals from a distant alien civilization in a recently posted and subsequently deleted report. What do you think?

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Categories: The Onion

Encouraging Report Finds Most Of Planet Will Still Be Habitable In 2023

The Onion - Mon, 2022-06-20 07:31

NEW YORK—Reversing long-held theories about the potentially devastating effects of climate change, scientists published an encouraging report Monday that found most of the planet would still be habitable in 2023. “While many are understandably nervous about the future of our rapidly changing world, our data…

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Categories: The Onion

Britney Spears Placed Under Conservatorship Again After Court Determines She’s Having Too Much Fun

The Onion - Mon, 2022-06-20 07:31

LOS ANGELES—Alarmed by what she called “confident and carefree behavior,” a superior court judge reportedly placed Britney Spears back under a conservatorship Monday after determining the pop star was having too much fun. “Ms. Spears is clearly having the time of her life in a way I find extremely concerning,” said…

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Categories: The Onion

Christian Parents Encourage Child To Save Self For Church Leader

The Onion - Mon, 2022-06-20 07:31

HOUSTON—Drawing upon their own experience growing up in the church, local Christian married couple Jonathan and Rebecca Bell have encouraged their daughter to save herself for a church leader, sources confirmed Monday. “Whether he’s a minister, youth pastor, or high-ranking member on the executive committee, we…

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Categories: The Onion

Whole Conversation Wasted Getting To Know New Neighbors Who Were Just Airbnb Guests

The Onion - Mon, 2022-06-20 07:30

PORTLAND, OR—Feeling absolutely duped by the strangers in his building, local resident Edward Siede told reporters Monday that he wasted a whole conversation getting to know his new neighbors who turned out to just be Airbnb guests. “I lost a full 30 minutes of my time talking to these people I thought had moved into…

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Categories: The Onion

Biggest Revelations From The Jan. 6 Hearings

The Onion - Mon, 2022-06-20 07:26

In perhaps its most shocking takeaway, the Jan. 6 committee revealed the election was rigged.

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Categories: The Onion

Employee Always Complaining About No Time Off Suddenly Upset About Getting Fired

The Onion - Mon, 2022-06-20 07:22

NEW YORK—Noting the abrupt and dramatic shift in the man’s attitude toward work, Lindwasser Insurance Group president Brad Lindwasser told reporters Monday that one of his employees who regularly complained about not having enough days off was suddenly upset about getting fired. “He was always saying he needed more…

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Categories: The Onion

Georgia: A Georgian Spring in Borjomi

LabourStart - Sun, 2022-06-19 20:00
LabourStart headline - Source: Tribune

Georgia: IDS Borjomi workers on strike

LabourStart - Sun, 2022-06-19 20:00
LabourStart headline - Source: IUF

Global: World Refugee Day: we demand solidarity, better support and social dialogue

LabourStart - Sun, 2022-06-19 20:00
LabourStart headline - Source: ITUC

Review: The Murder Book, by Mark Billingham

Eric Lee's Blog - Sat, 2022-06-18 11:33

Mark Billingham, who is probably Britain’s finest living crime writer, has been knocking off a book a year, sometimes starring his main protagonist Tom Thorne, but sometimes with Thorne only having a walk-on part. In this year’s book, Thorne is centre stage. Working together with his two closest colleagues (and best friends) he is up against an old nemesis. I love these books not only because they’re cleverly-plotted, full of wit, and with characters I have grown to know well. I also love them because they’re largely set in Crouch End, Muswell Hill, Hornsey, Kentish Town and Highgate. In other words, in my neighbourhood. Highly recommended.

Global: Key outcomes of ILO Conference

LabourStart - Fri, 2022-06-17 20:00
LabourStart headline - Source: CSI

UK: Thousands march in London over cost of living crisis

LabourStart - Fri, 2022-06-17 20:00
LabourStart headline - Source: The Guardian

Study Finds U.S. Could Have Saved 338,000 Lives From Covid With Universal Healthcare

The Onion - Fri, 2022-06-17 15:18

According to a new study, the U.S. could have saved more than 338,000 lives and more than $105 billion in healthcare costs in the Covid-19 pandemic with a universal healthcare system, citing delayed diagnosis and exacerbated transmission for the uninsured or underinsured in the current system. What do you think?

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Categories: The Onion
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