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Biden Approves Controversial Oil Drilling Project In Alaska
The Biden administration approved a massive $8 billion drilling project in Alaska for oil company ConocoPhillips, drawing objections from environmental groups who say it will speed up the climate breakdown and undermine food security. What do you think?
Dad Bookmarks Rik Smits’ Wikipedia Page
GOSHEN, IN—After a cursory scanning of the 1,300-word online document about the retired basketball player led the man to decide he needed to have it at his fingertips in the future, local dad Mark Whitner bookmarked Rik Smits’ Wikipedia page, sources confirmed Wednesday. “It took me a while to find this page, so I…
Twin Absorbs Sibling At 62
GARY, IN—Confirming the results after extensive medical imaging, a team of doctors at Indiana University Northwest reported Wednesday a case of one twin absorbing another at the age of 62. “It’s more common than you think,” said Dr. Joseph Beaumont, stipulating that clinicians typically saw this type of autositic…
Tech Moguls React To The Silicon Valley Bank Collapse
The collapse of Silicon Valley Bank is the largest failure of a financial institution since Washington Mutual went under in 2008. The Onion asked tech moguls how they felt about the bank’s failure, and this is what they said.
Fast-Talking Biden Upsells Australian Prime Minister 2 Extra Nuclear Subs But He Has To Sign Today
SAN DIEGO—Saying this was the sort of sweetheart deal that he wouldn’t give his own mother, a fast-talking Joe Biden reportedly upsold Australian Prime Minister Anthony Albanese on two extra nuclear submarines this week, but emphasized that he had to sign today. “Look, Tony—cool if I call you Tony, right?—you seem…
Tucker Carlson’s Biggest Lies
While the Fox News host is not necessarily known for being honest, text messages released in the Dominion Voting Systems lawsuit show that Tucker Carlson frequently lies to viewers. The Onion examines Tucker Carlson’s biggest lies.
Starbucks CEO Clearly Just Coming To Company Headquarters To Use Bathroom
SEATTLE—Calling his motivations “beyond transparent,” sources at Starbucks headquarters confirmed Wednesday that CEO Howard Schultz was clearly only coming into the building to use the bathroom. “He clogged the toilet, stuffed some sugar packets into his pockets, and left,” said 27-year-old Starbucks project manager…
Buffalo Wild Wings Sued Over Claim That ‘Boneless Wings’ Aren’t Wings
A Chicago man filed a class action lawsuit against Buffalo Wild Wings, saying the restaurant chain is charging too much for its boneless wings, which are basically nuggets and not made from the actual wing of a chicken. What do you think?
How We’re Fighting for a Union at Amazon’s Biggest Air Hub
I work as a tug driver at Amazon’s global air hub in Northern Kentucky (KCVG). My co-workers and I are taking on one of the largest corporations in the world to get what we deserve.
Our main demands are for a $30-an-hour starting wage, 180 hours a year of paid time off, and union representation at disciplinary meetings to end favoritism and retaliation.
This $1.5 billion facility is a flagship for Amazon—it’s the company’s biggest air hub. Jeff Bezos personally broke ground on it in 2019.
How We’re Fighting for a Union at Amazon’s Biggest Air Hub
I work as a tug driver at Amazon’s global air hub in Northern Kentucky (KCVG). My co-workers and I are taking on one of the largest corporations in the world to get what we deserve.
Our main demands are for a $30-an-hour starting wage, 180 hours a year of paid time off, and union representation at disciplinary meetings to end favoritism and retaliation.
This $1.5 billion facility is a flagship for Amazon—it’s the company’s biggest air hub. Jeff Bezos personally broke ground on it in 2019.
Ron DeSantis Bans Births In Florida Due To Exposure Of Impressionable Infants To Vagina
TALLAHASSEE, FL—In an ongoing effort to protect children from sexually explicit scenes, Gov. Ron DeSantis banned births in the state of Florida on Tuesday, citing the need to protect impressionable infants from exposure to vaginas. “No longer will we allow our innocent babies, in the first moments of their lives, to…
Call: Paycheck Fairness Act
The Paycheck Fairness Act increases penalties when employers violate equal pay provisions. It also makes it unlawful to prohibit employees from discussing their wages. Take two minutes to ask your senators and representative to support the Paycheck Fairness Act.
Make a Call.Today is Equal Pay Day because women have to work until March 14, 2023, to earn what a man made in 2022.
The gender wage gap leads to a loss of some $400,000 over the course of a working woman’s career. For women of color, that loss is even steeper. Read that again: $400,000.
The Paycheck Fairness Act would help close the wage gap in a few different ways by:
- Making it unlawful to prohibit employees from talking about their wages.
- Increasing penalties for violating the equal pay provision.
- Directing the Department of Labor to provide trainings for negotiating compensation and working conditions.
It’s time. Women should get equal pay for equal work.
If you agree, take two minutes to call your senators and representative. Tell them to vote YES on the Paycheck Fairness Act.
Audrey Edmonds Tue, 03/14/2023 - 14:14Tags: Equal Pay
Mark Zuckerberg Worried Facebook Listening To Him After Being Pushed Shirt That Says ‘I Just Laid Off 10,000 Employees’
PALO ALTO, CA—Noting the eerie feeling of being surveilled, Meta CEO Mark Zuckerberg reportedly expressed concern Tuesday that Facebook was listening to him after he received a targeted ad for a shirt that read “I Just Laid Off 10,000 Employees.” “How could it even know I just said that? It’s got to be using my…
Woman Shares How She Stays Safe While Jogging Alone By Disguising Herself As A Cowboy
Police Arrest Woman Reporting Domestic Abuse For Being Tattletale
MIDDLEBOROUGH, MA—Responding to an emergency call Tuesday from a victim of domestic violence, local police placed Cindy Tarnes, 37, under arrest for tattling on her abuser. “An officer arrived at the scene of what appeared to be an aggravated assault, where he informed Ms. Tarnes that she was being taken into custody…
Browns Impressed With Jalen Carter’s Reckless Disregard For Life
CLEVELAND—Saying they were considering trading up on draft day in order to select the Georgia Bulldogs defensive tackle, Cleveland Browns officials told reporters Tuesday they were impressed with Jalen Carter’s reckless disregard for life. “Jalen has shown that even at a young age, he doesn’t have respect for the…
New Hyundai Elantra Wins J.D. Power And Associates Award For Sluttiest Car
TROY, MI—After naming the make and model the most promiscuous in its class, consumer analytics firm J.D. Power and Associates announced Tuesday that it had chosen the Hyundai Elantra as the sluttiest car of 2023. “Based on our own research and reports from independent automobile owners, we found that the Elantra puts…