Feed aggregator

Climate Scientists Warn That Fish Will Be Under Even More Water By 2065

The Onion - Thu, 2021-11-11 12:05

SEATTLE—Citing models that showed how rising temperatures and melting sea ice were contributing to the phenomenon, scientists affiliated with the Climate Impacts Group at the University of Washington warned Thursday that fish would be under even more water by the year 2065. “If we fail to combat the climate crisis,…

Read more...

Categories: The Onion

'We'll Never Be in This Position Again': Striking Deere Workers Hold Out for Better Deal

Steward's Corner - Thu, 2021-11-11 11:15
Author(s): Jonah Furman

A month into the nation’s largest work stoppage, striking John Deere workers are holding out for a better deal.

For the second time in a month, 10,000 Auto Workers at John Deere stunned both the company and the union leadership November 2 by rejecting a tentative agreement. Workers at the farm equipment manufacturer remain on strike. Company and union negotiators are set to meet today for the first time since the deal was voted down.

The vote was closer than on the first tentative agreement, which was rejected by 90 percent of members. This time, 55 percent voted no.

'We'll Never Be in This Position Again': Striking Deere Workers Hold Out for Better Deal November 11, 2021 / Jonah Furman
Categories: Labor Notes

'We'll Never Be in This Position Again': Striking Deere Workers Hold Out for Better Deal

Magazine Stories - Thu, 2021-11-11 11:15
Author(s): Jonah Furman

A month into the nation’s largest work stoppage, striking John Deere workers are holding out for a better deal.

For the second time in a month, 10,000 Auto Workers at John Deere stunned both the company and the union leadership November 2 by rejecting a tentative agreement. Workers at the farm equipment manufacturer remain on strike. Company and union negotiators are set to meet today for the first time since the deal was voted down.

The vote was closer than on the first tentative agreement, which was rejected by 90 percent of members. This time, 55 percent voted no.

'We'll Never Be in This Position Again': Striking Deere Workers Hold Out for Better Deal November 11, 2021 / Jonah Furman
Categories: Labor Notes

Singapore To End Free Covid-19 Treatment To Those ‘Unvaccinated By Choice’

The Onion - Thu, 2021-11-11 09:00

Singapore, considered to have one of the world’s best healthcare systems, has announced it will no longer cover medical bills for people who are “unvaccinated by choice” due to their disproportionate strain on resources. What do you think?

Read more...

Categories: The Onion

‘Where’s The Rest Of It?’ Screams Yale President Standing Over Shaking Alumni Fundraiser Who Didn’t Make Quota

The Onion - Thu, 2021-11-11 09:00

NEW HAVEN, CT—Rolling a copy of the Yale Alumni Magazine into a makeshift but effective bludgeon, Yale university president Peter Salovey demanded Wednesday that the trembling, weeping alumni fundraiser getting blood on his office floor tell him where the rest of the money was. “You dumb motherfucker, this ain’t…

Read more...

Categories: The Onion

Capitol Riot Suspect Seeking Political Asylum In Belarus

The Onion - Wed, 2021-11-10 17:32

An American who faces criminal charges from the Jan. 6 riot at the U.S. Capitol is seeking asylum in Belarus, which doesn’t have an extradition treaty with the U.S., in a move that may heighten tensions between the turbulent former Soviet state and the U.S. What do you think?

Read more...

Categories: The Onion

The Bitter Vend

The Onion - Wed, 2021-11-10 15:26
Categories: The Onion

Time For The Talk, Young Gamers: Sex Is Like A Wonderful 2 Player Co-Op Game With Someone You Love

The Onion - Wed, 2021-11-10 15:00

Hey there, young gamers! We know you look to OGN for the latest news and commentary for all things gaming-related, but now that you’re getting a little older, it’s time for us to have a bit of a different conversation. So hunker down, because it’s time to talk about how sex is like a wonderful co-op game with someone…

Read more...

Categories: The Onion

Climate Summit Sets Ambitious Goal To Phase Out Fossil Fuels By Time Earth Runs Out Of Them

The Onion - Wed, 2021-11-10 13:55

GLASGOW—Calling the agreement a historic moment in the fight against the generation-defining threat, world leaders at the COP26 climate conference told reporters Wednesday that they had set the ambitious goal of phasing out fossil fuels entirely by the time the Earth runs out of them. “This conference recognizes…

Read more...

Categories: The Onion

Distracted God Accidentally Puts Baby’s Soul In Envelope To Utility Company

The Onion - Wed, 2021-11-10 13:15

THE HEAVENS—Realizing His error after Heaven’s holy lights were shut off, a distracted God, Our Lord, and Heavenly Father accidentally put a baby’s soul in an envelope Wednesday to the utility company. “Shit, shit, shit, I can’t believe I unintentionally sent that baby’s soul to the electric company,” said The Divine…

Read more...

Categories: The Onion

Review: The Counterfeit Candidate, by Brian Klein

Eric Lee's Blog - Wed, 2021-11-10 12:36

Imagine if you will a wealthy German-American whose son runs as a populist candidate for the Republican nomination for president — but who harbours a dark secret. That secret is not his inclination towards fascism but the fact that he is — wait for this — the grandson of Adolf Hitler. Oh, and Hitler survived the war, settling in Patagonia.

I admit, this is not a brilliant premise for a book and rather bonkers, but somehow, Brian Klein manages to pull it off.

The book is a quick and enjoyable romp with all the tropes one might expect in a thriller — a bromance between two buddy cops, one Argentinian and one American, lots of brutal and completely unnecessary violence (pretty much the only woman to survive more than five minutes is Eva Braun, who we meet at the age of 100), incredible bungling by the bad guys leading to their inevitable defeat, and an ending that hints at the possibility of more to come.

I found the book oddly enjoyable, but please — don’t write a sequel.

K-Y Introduces Personal Mouth Lubricant For Extra Sloppy Kisses

The Onion - Wed, 2021-11-10 12:35

PARSIPPANY, NJ—Expanding beyond its popular line of sexual enhancement aids, K-Y introduced a new personal mouth lubricant Wednesday that, according to the manufacturer, has been designed to heighten intimacy by allowing those who apply the product to enjoy extra sloppy kisses. “This water-based, water-soluble mouth…

Read more...

Categories: The Onion

Scenes From U.S. Lifting Covid Travel Restrictions

The Onion - Wed, 2021-11-10 12:30

On Nov. 8, 18 months after the coronavirus pandemic began, the U.S. lifted travel restrictions for vaccinated people from many countries. The Onion was on the ground bearing witness to scenes from the lifted travel restrictions.

Read more...

Categories: The Onion

Cult Getting A Little Cliquey

The Onion - Wed, 2021-11-10 09:00
Categories: The Onion
Syndicate content