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Study Finds Drinking Children’s Blood No More Effective Than Regular Blood At Achieving Eternal Life
BOSTON—Challenging the alleged benefits of the practice as touted in the press and by social media influencers, a study published Thursday in the Journal Of Hematology concluded that drinking children’s blood is no more likely to lead to eternal life than drinking regular blood. “When it comes to attaining…
Scientists Announce Earth’s Core Can Play Blu-Rays
CAMBRIDGE, MA—In what is being hailed as a major breakthrough in the field of geological research, scientists from the Massachusetts Institute of Technology announced Thursday they had discovered that the Earth’s core can play Blu-rays. “As far as we can tell, since its formation approximately 1 billion years ago, the…
Bear Spotted At Disney World Prompts Closure Of Magic Kingdom
A black bear was spotted in a tree near Big Thunder Mountain Railroad at Walt Disney World, leading to a temporary shutdown until it could be captured and removed. What do you think?
Quiz: How Much Do You Know About Taylor Swift?
Test your knowledge of one of the highest-grossing singer-songwriters of all time by passing this quiz on Taylor Swift.
Elon Musk Announces Successful Trial Of Neuralink Brain Detonator
BOCA CHICA, TX—Touting the device as the next step forward in primate mutilation, Elon Musk announced Thursday the first successful human trial of Neuralink’s brain detonator. “I am thrilled to announce that after exploding the heads of our trial participants, Neuralink’s groundbreaking brain detonator is one step…
USA: With 3 recent wins, Starbucks union gains traction in Eastern WA
USA: Google Flat-Out Refuses to Bargain With Workers, Prompting YouTube Music Strike
USA: The Rebel Alliance: SAG and the WGA Owe Other Unions a Debt. How Will They Repay It?
Greece: Trade Unions in Greece Strike Against New Labor Bill
USA: Teamsters & CA Labor Fighting Gov Newsom On AI Robo Trucks & Future of Labor in Sacramento
To Beat the Heat, 'We Can't Rely on Management. We Have to Keep Each Other Safe'
The death of UPS driver Chris Begley, 57, who collapsed in August while making a delivery in 103-degree Texas heat, was no isolated incident.
Monitoring co-workers for signs of heat exhaustion has become a routine feature of the job, says fellow driver Seth Pacic, a shop steward in Begley’s union, Teamsters Local 767.
Pacic has learned to discern over the phone when a co-worker needs to find air conditioning ASAP—and when they’re deteriorating so badly that he should call paramedics and brave management’s wrath.
To Beat the Heat, 'We Can't Rely on Management. We Have to Keep Each Other Safe'
The death of UPS driver Chris Begley, 57, who collapsed in August while making a delivery in 103-degree Texas heat, was no isolated incident.
Monitoring co-workers for signs of heat exhaustion has become a routine feature of the job, says fellow driver Seth Pacic, a shop steward in Begley’s union, Teamsters Local 767.
Pacic has learned to discern over the phone when a co-worker needs to find air conditioning ASAP—and when they’re deteriorating so badly that he should call paramedics and brave management’s wrath.
Hispanic Heritage Month Profiles: Pedro Olguin
Throughout Hispanic Heritage Month, the AFL-CIO will be profiling leaders and activists to spotlight the diverse contributions Hispanics and Latinos have made to the labor movement. Today's profile features Pedro Olguin of OPEIU Local 11.
“I have an opportunity to reach out and organize folks who historically have not been in the labor movement,” said Office and Professional Employees (OPEIU) Local 11 organizer Pedro Olguin. “I offer through my own heritage and my own identity the ability for people to feel reflected and feel included.”
Kenneth Quinnell Wed, 09/20/2023 - 14:33Elizabeth Holmes And ‘Real Housewives’ Star Jen Shah Have ‘Bonded’ In Prison
Theranos founder Elizabeth Holmes has reportedly made friends with ex-Real Housewives Of Salt Lake City Star Jen Shah in prison, with Shah’s reps claiming “they’re both rehabilitating and have bonded over being on this journey of positive change.” What do you think?
Service & Solidarity Spotlight: Tell The New York Times to Stop Union-Busting
Working people across the United States have stepped up to help out our friends, neighbors and communities during these trying times. In our Service & Solidarity Spotlight series, we'll showcase one of these stories every day. Here’s today’s story.
The NewsGuild of New York (TNG-CWA Local 31003) calls on The New York Times CEO Meredith Kopit Levien, its publisher A.G. Sulzberger and managers to stop union-busting through the farce of “subcontracting” to itself. These union-busting actions are clearly an attempt to undercut the hard-fought contract protections won this year by The New York Times Guild. Management claims that The Times will continue to write about sports, but the writers and editors who have been covering sports for The Times for decades are being scattered around the company with little to no guidance. We, the readers, deserve better.
Send a letter today, demanding The Times stop union-busting.
Kenneth Quinnell Wed, 09/20/2023 - 08:55
Men Explain Why They Are Obsessed With The Roman Empire
Following a recent TikTok trend that revealed men frequently think about the Roman Empire, The Onion asked men to explain why they are obsessed with the Roman Empire, and this is what they said.
R&B Song Clearly Started With Drip Sound Effect And Worked Backwards
NEW YORK—Noticing the prevalence of the idiosyncratic plopping noise throughout the slow jam, sources reported Wednesday that the writers and producers of an R&B song had clearly started with a drip sound effect and worked backwards. “I mean, of course you hear the drums and keys layered in, but they definitely sound…
Annoyed Murderer Starting To Worry Woman Never Going To Check Behind Shower Curtain
BAR HARBOR, ME—As he shifted his feet impatiently and tried to pass the time until his hiding spot was discovered, sources confirmed Wednesday that annoyed serial killer Ernest Vershbow was starting to worry the woman he lay in wait for was never going to check behind the shower curtain. “For the past 20 minutes, I’ve…
Obesity Study Finds 36% Of Americans One Deep Breath Away From Pants Popping Open
ATLANTA—Referring to the prevalence of the condition in the United States as both widespread and dire, a new obesity study released Wednesday by the Centers for Disease Control found that 36% of Americans were one deep breath away from their pants popping open. “Our data shows that for more than a third of the…
Report: Habsburgs Stopped Inbreeding One Generation Short Of Producing Perfect Human Specimen
PRINCETON, NJ—After studying the family’s genetic abnormalities over the course of many generations, a team of Princeton University researchers concluded in a paper published Wednesday that the Habsburg family stopped inbreeding one generation short of producing the perfect human specimen. “Sadly, while they didn’t…