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Tiger Woods Wins 5th Masters Title

The Onion - Tue, 2019-04-16 15:46

Ending an 11-year-long championship drought, Tiger Woods won his fifth Masters title this past weekend in an emotional comeback after years of personal hardship and injury. What do you think?

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Paris Vows To Rebuild Notre Dame Despite Cosmic Absurdity Of Seeking Inherent Meaning In Fleeting Creations Of Man

The Onion - Tue, 2019-04-16 13:13

PARIS—Following a massive fire that destroyed significant portions of the Catholic cathedral, Paris officials vowed Tuesday to rebuild Notre Dame despite the cosmic absurdity of seeking inherent meaning in the fleeting creations of man. “We will come together as a nation to reconstruct Notre Dame, no matter the…

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Breaking: Mom Dropped Like 80 Bucks On Some Necklace With An Owl On It At The Art Fair

The Onion - Tue, 2019-04-16 12:56

WAUKESHA, WI—Noting that the unexpected purchase was completely without precedent or preamble, family sources confirmed Tuesday that mother Ellen Fogarty, 54, had evidently just spent $83.50 on an owl necklace from a stall at the Waukesha art fair. “Supposedly, it’s handcrafted, but still, Mom barely ever even wears…

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Priest Cursed With Incredible Penis

The Onion - Tue, 2019-04-16 10:38

NEW MILTON, WV—Asking whether possession of an exceptional sexual organ he was forbidden to use was perhaps a test from the Lord, local Roman Catholic priest Russell Calhoun reportedly lamented Tuesday the fact that God cursed him with an incredible penis. “Why, oh, why would the Lord demand chastity of a man upon…

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‘Star Wars IX’ Trailer Released

The Onion - Tue, 2019-04-16 08:35

Lucasfilm has released the first trailer for the ninth chapter in the Star Wars saga, which confirms that it will be subtitled The Rise Of Skywalker. What do you think? 

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Suspicious New WikiLeaks Document Dump Exposes How Awesome And Trustworthy U.S. Government Is

The Onion - Tue, 2019-04-16 08:29

WASHINGTON—Releasing thousands of confidential pages detailing the operational excellence at every level, a suspicious new dump of WikiLeaks documents Monday exposed just how totally awesome and trustworthy the U.S. government is. According to the lengthy set of government cables emailed to dozens of world news…

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Jesus Christ Pushes Past Firefighter Into Burning Notre Dame To Save Beloved Relic

The Onion - Mon, 2019-04-15 18:02

PARIS—Responding just minutes after the 12th-century Catholic monument caught fire, Jesus Christ, The King of Kings and Lord of Lords, was reportedly pushing past Parisian firefighters Monday to run into a burning Notre Dame de Paris and save a beloved relic. “My crown! My crown! Get out of my way—my Crown of Thorns…

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‘Us Weekly’ Wins Pulitzer For Outstanding Achievement In Photoshopping A Rip Between Divorced Celebrity Couple

The Onion - Mon, 2019-04-15 15:13

NEW YORK—Honoring the publication for its high standard of journalistic excellence, the Pulitzer Prize Board announced Monday that Us Weekly had received its highest award for outstanding achievement in the photoshopping of a rip between a divorced celebrity couple. “Since its inception in 1977, Us Weekly has been a…

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Trump Considering Releasing Detainees In Sanctuary Cities

The Onion - Mon, 2019-04-15 14:31

President Trump revealed his administration is “giving strong considerations” to a plan to release migrants into so-called sanctuary cities. What do you think?

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Child Promised He Can Go Right Back To Video Game After Giving Dying Grandfather One Last Hug

The Onion - Mon, 2019-04-15 14:17

HINSDALE, IL—Moments after wrestling the Switch controller from Dylan Wheeler’s hands and pushing the child towards the door of the intensive care unit, Wheeler’s parents mollified the 9-year-old Monday by promising him that he could go right back to playing video games once he had given his dying grandfather one last…

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Ilhan Omar Disrespectfully Refers To America As ‘A Place’

The Onion - Mon, 2019-04-15 13:00

WASHINGTON—In a scathing attack on the very foundations of democracy and everything the United States stands for, Rep. Ilhan Omar (D-MN) disrespectfully referred Monday to America, the land of the free and the home of the brave, as “a place.” “It’s unconscionable to think that this so-called American would use a vile…

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Review: The Battle, by Richard Overy

Eric Lee's Blog - Mon, 2019-04-15 12:39

This book has now gone through several editions, and was recently re-issued with a slightly different title.

It is a very short history of the Battle of Britain of 1940-41 and in just a few pages, Overy manages to demolish a number of long standing myths about the period. Among these are the idea that the British or Germans at that time were deliberately engaged in terror-bombings of each other’s cities. Or that either the RAF or the Luftwaffe was significantly “better” than the other; both air forces had cutting-edge aircraft and outstanding pilots.

He attributes Britain’s “victory” (he’s not convinced it can be called that) to something rarely discussed: Britain was far better at producing large numbers of Spitfires and other aircraft, while the Germans (despite their having conquered most of Europe) struggled to meet their production targets.

A good introduction to the subject, but not without controversy.


Crestfallen ‘Game Of Thrones’ Fans Starting To Realize Series Never Going To Show Dragons Fucking

The Onion - Mon, 2019-04-15 12:17

BOSTON—Expressing deep disappointment as their beloved series begins to come to a long-awaited conclusion, crestfallen Game Of Thrones fans reported Monday their realization that the show is never going to show dragons fucking. “I’ve put hundreds of hours of my life into this series, and now it seems it’s all been a…

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