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- Belarus: This day started with searches in Salihorsk - the city where Belarusian Independent trade union head office is based
- Afghanistan: As the Taliban regime undermines education, peace and human rights, Education International and its member organisations step up their actions
- Global: ITUC’s gender-transformative agenda for recovery and resilience
- Ukraine: As the catastrophe of Ukraine’s war continues, so does the need for help
- Mexico: Independent unions in Mexico use the USMCA to stop abuse at multinational plants
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The Onion
Critically Acclaimed ‘Ted Lasso’ Episode Just Stock Photos Of People Hugging Each Other
No-Bullshit Children’s Museum Just Thousands Of Buttons That Light Up When Pressed
BOSTON—Hailing the update as a streamlined alternative for overwhelmed families, the newly revamped Boston Children’s Museum announced Friday that it was losing the bullshit by providing visitors with nothing but thousands of buttons that light up when pressed. “Kids and parents alike can cut to the chase and…
Lies Elected Officials Tell Their Constituents All The Time
And they say it with a straight face, too. Disgusting.
Outdated Sex Ed Curriculum Still Teaches How Boyfriend’s Balls Could Explode If You Don’t Give Him Hand Job
GOWRIE, IA—After facing backlash from parents concerned an outdated curriculum was leaving teenagers unprepared for the real world, Castlemount High School administrators confirmed Friday that their sex ed program still taught students that their boyfriend’s balls would explode if they didn’t give him a hand job.…
U.S. Approves New Headlights That Won’t Blind Oncoming Drivers
U.S. vehicles will now be allowed to use advanced headlights known as “adaptive driving beams” that automatically adjust using additional sensors, providing more illumination without a glare to oncoming motorists in order to prevent nighttime crashes. What do you think?
School Board Conflicts Rage Across The Country
Public school boards have lately become a hotbed of controversy, with parents, school officials, and board members squabbling over curriculums, Covid prevention efforts, and more. The Onion looks at the most heated school board conflicts raging across the country.
Peter Thiel Funding Dating App For Conservatives
Billionaire Peter Thiel has invested $1.5 million into launching a dating app called The Right Stuff, which caters to conservatives who have complained about finding themselves excluded from dating circles in large cities where liberals tend to live. What do you think?
How To Eat Healthy In Just 3 Bites
Eating right is a great way to boost your immune system as well as your mental health, but changing your habits and sticking to a regimen can be daunting. Fortunately, you don’t have to do any of that hard work, if you follow The Onion’s tips for eating healthy in just three bites.
Painted Rocksnail Knows It Really Fucked If Animal As Cute As Koala Now Endangered
WOLF CREEK, AL—Reacting with dismay to news that the beloved marsupial faced an extinction threat, a member of the painted rocksnail species of mollusks told reporters Thursday it was really fucked if an animal as cute as a koala had become endangered. “I’ve just got to face reality here and own up to the fact that if…
Study Finds Best Marker Of Desirability Still Wet Finger Making Sizzle Sound When Touched To Leg
BALTIMORE—Confirming the indicator remains a constant across the diverse range of human sexuality, a new study released Thursday by Johns Hopkins University found that the best marker of desirability was still a wet finger making a sizzle sound when touched to a person’s leg. “This new data reinforces prior findings…
Boar’s Head Unveils New Funfetti Birthday Ham
SARASOTA, FL—In a statement that confirmed customers turning a year older could now blow out their candles on a slab of cured meat, delicatessen supplier Boar’s Head announced Thursday that supermarkets nationwide would soon begin offering its all-new Funfetti Birthday Ham. “Make this birthday one to remember with a…
San Francisco Police Department Accused Of Using Rape Kit DNA To Arrest Victim For Unrelated Crime
San Francisco police used DNA collected as part of a rape exam to link a woman to a property crime, a practice which critics claim violates her constitutional rights and will deter victims of sexual assault from coming forward. What do you think?
Signs You May Be Addicted To Sex
Addiction is totally normal when it comes to drugs and alcohol, but if you find yourself having sex on a regular basis, you might have a problem. Here are some of the biggest signs you may be addicted to sex.
Thousands Of Priest’s Baptisms Rendered Invalid For Using Wrong Word
A priest resigned earlier this month after his diocese discovered the baptisms he held over two decades were invalid because he had changed a single word while performing the sacrament. What do you think?
Man Hides Engagement Ring In Piece Of Cheese So Girlfriend Will Take It Without A Fuss
WATERLOO, IA—Carefully preparing the morsel so it would appear appetizing and not arouse suspicion, local man Brendan McHenry reportedly hid an engagement ring inside a piece of cheese Wednesday so his girlfriend, Abby Shuster, would take it without making too much of a fuss. “Does Abby want a piece of cheese? Does…
Patient A Little Disappointed He’s Not Getting Treated By Dentist Whose Name Is On Sign
LYNCHBURG, VA—Admitting that the experience failed to meet his expectations, local patient Rhys Barbin was reportedly a little disappointed Wednesday that he wasn’t getting treated by the dentist whose name was on the sign. “I’m sure this woman—I think her name is like Dr. Watts or something—is perfectly fine, but…