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Philadelphia Woman Gives Birth On Way To Hospital In Tesla On Autopilot

Wed, 2021-12-22 09:00

A Philadelphia woman recently gave birth to her baby while in the front seat of her Tesla as it drove on autopilot to the hospital. What do you think?

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Star High School Quarterback Blissfully Unaware He’ll Be Jets Starter 4 Years From Now

Wed, 2021-12-22 09:00

BEND, OR—As he excitedly slapped a teammate on the back after delivering a pinpoint 30-yard throw in practice, sources confirmed Wednesday that local star quarterback Cole Rabuck was blissfully unaware he would be the New York Jets’ starter four years from now. “He goes out there every day, he’s got a great arm, and…

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Worst Mistakes You Can Make At A Company Holiday Party

Wed, 2021-12-22 09:00

Trust us, you never want to be that person. Here are the worst mistakes you can make at a company holiday party.

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Manchin Says He Will Not Vote For Build Back Better Act

Tue, 2021-12-21 17:01

Democratic Sen. Joe Manchin (WV) said in a recent interview that he will vote no on the Build Back Better Act, legislation that would expand the social safety net while reducing Americans’ childcare and healthcare costs and combating climate change. What do you think?

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‘Ooohhh, That Sounds Good!’ Says Woman Overhearing Pharmacy Order Of Person Before Her

Tue, 2021-12-21 15:50

NEW YORK—As she waited in line at the pickup counter Tuesday, local woman Beth Morton said, “Ooohhh, that sounds good!” upon hearing the pharmacy order of the person in front of her, according to witnesses at a midtown Duane Reade. “I came in here thinking I knew exactly what I wanted, but now I may have to change…

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If Someone Gives You A Bad Gift, Do Not Say These Things

Tue, 2021-12-21 12:45

When in doubt, always lie. Here are things you should never say if someone gives you a gift you don’t like.

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Pro Athletes Share Their Favorite Holiday Traditions

Tue, 2021-12-21 12:20

“I get people tennis balls as stocking stuffers. When people say I just grabbed them from Wimbledon or something, I’m right there with the receipt from Walmart.”

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What Child Is This?

Tue, 2021-12-21 11:12
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70-Year-Old Arrested For BASE Jumping Off Virginia Skyscrapers

Tue, 2021-12-21 09:00

A 70-year-old man has been arrested for allegedly leaping from tall buildings with a parachute in Northern Virginia, making as many as six leaps, including a harrowing 32-story plunge from a building over evening traffic. What do you think?

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Police Finally Throw Out Old, Embarrassing Evidence From ’80s

Tue, 2021-12-21 09:00

MEMPHIS, TN—Shaking their heads at how things used to be while they filled up trash bags in the station, members of the Memphis Police Department had reportedly finally gotten around to throwing out a bunch of old, embarrassing evidence from the 1980s, sources confirmed Tuesday. “Oh my god, how terrible does all this…

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FDA Will Permanently Allow Abortion Pills By Mail

Mon, 2021-12-20 16:34

The Food and Drug Administration announced it will permanently remove a key restriction on medication used to terminate pregnancies, allowing abortion pills to be available by mail instead of requiring patients to obtain the pills in person from specially certified health providers. What do you think?

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Report: No One Got Covid And It Was One Hell Of A Party You Missed

Mon, 2021-12-20 16:30

MIAMI—Following a spectacular night that your completely uninfected friends will be talking about for years to come, a new report out this weekend confirmed that no one got Covid and you missed out on one hell of a party, my friend. According to the detailed and comprehensive report, 100% of the partygoers remained…

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Most Frequent Porn Searches By State

Mon, 2021-12-20 12:30

High school recruit signed hard

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Nation’s Next Of Kin Exhausted From Constantly Identifying Bodies

Mon, 2021-12-20 12:00

WASHINGTON—In an urgent plea to authorities asking for a break from the emotionally draining duty, America’s next of kin announced Monday that they were exhausted and depleted from years of continually identifying dead bodies. “Sometimes it feels as if our only purpose in life is to head down to the morgue and help…

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‘Look, We’re Matching!’ Cry All 330 Million Americans, Pointing To Leopard Print Sweaters

Mon, 2021-12-20 09:10

NEW YORK—Screaming as they pointed at each other’s sweaters and then pointed down at their own, 330 million Americans cried, “Look, we’re matching!” upon realizing they were all wearing leopard print, sources confirmed Monday. “Oh my gosh, same sweater,” said local woman Dina Morris, 43, who was reportedly as…

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Things To Never Say To Someone Who Is Alone For The Holidays

Mon, 2021-12-20 09:00

If you’ve somehow managed to surround yourself with a loving group of friends and family, don’t rub it in. Here are things to never say to someone who is alone for the holidays.

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Robotic Fish Frighten Aquatic Pests To Death

Mon, 2021-12-20 07:00

Scientists in Australia are using robotic fish that look like a natural predator to scare off invasive mosquitofish, with the frightening interaction making them so anxious that they stop breeding.” What do you think?

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