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Archaeologists Theorize England’s Mysterious Big Ben Monument Originally Constructed To Measure Time

The Onion - Mon, 2022-07-18 10:11

LONDON—Archaeologists excavating a site around the iconic monument theorized Monday that England’s mysterious Big Ben might have originally been constructed to measure time. “For generations, we have speculated upon the purpose of this enigmatic monolith, but we’re now reasonably certain that it was created as a sort…

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Categories: The Onion

Report: 70% Of Celebrities Totally Unaware They Own Half Of Tequila Brand

The Onion - Mon, 2022-07-18 10:09

LOS ANGELES—In a study of more than 1,000 screen legends and superstars, a new report published Monday by researchers at the University of Southern California found that 70% of celebrities were totally unaware they owned half of a tequila brand. “From George Clooney to the Chainsmokers, we found that the vast majority…

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Categories: The Onion

Study Shows Men Prefer Dating Profiles With Poor Grammar

The Onion - Mon, 2022-07-18 06:15

A new study has found that men on dating apps prefer women with poor grammar and are less drawn to well-written profiles, while women were 300% times more likely to prefer profiles with no grammatical mistakes. What do you think?

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Categories: The Onion

Belarus: IndustriALL condemns termination of independent unions

LabourStart - Sat, 2022-07-16 20:00
LabourStart headline - Source: IndustriALL

NYC Puts Out PSA In Case Of Nuclear Attack

The Onion - Fri, 2022-07-15 15:04

New York City’s Office of Emergency Management issued a public service announcement in case of a nuclear attack on the city, though the OEM stresses the chances of such an attack are low. What do you think?

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Categories: The Onion

Regretful Officer Believes More Could Have Been Done To Kill Unarmed Black Man

The Onion - Fri, 2022-07-15 13:30

ST. LOUIS—Revealing that he lays awake every night contemplating what he could have done differently, regretful police officer Mike Peltz confirmed Friday that he believes more could have been done to kill an unarmed Black man. “To think, if my trigger finger was just a little quicker, that innocent Black man would be…

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Categories: The Onion

Deckhand Scolded For Throwing Trash On Floor Of Ship When Great Pacific Garbage Patch Right There

The Onion - Fri, 2022-07-15 13:00

NORTH PACIFIC OCEAN—Telling the crew member to have a little more respect for his place of work, Captain Sig Gunderson scolded his deckhand Friday for throwing trash on the floor of the ship when the Great Pacific Garbage Patch was right there. “It takes all of us to keep a tidy vessel, so it would be appreciated if…

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Categories: The Onion

Racially Biased Education System Criticized For Omitting Historic African American Moon Colony

The Onion - Fri, 2022-07-15 12:40

BATON ROUGE—Coming under fire for the exclusion of critical, diverse narratives that shaped the U.S., Louisiana’s racially biased education system was criticized Friday for omitting any information about the historic moon colony created by African Americans. “It’s a testament to how much Black history is completely…

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Categories: The Onion

What To Know About Monkeypox

The Onion - Fri, 2022-07-15 10:55

Monkeypox is on the rise, with nearly 1,000 cases of the infectious disease reported across the United States. The Onion tells you everything you need to know about monkeypox.

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Categories: The Onion

Wealthy New Yorkers Explain Why They Left The City

The Onion - Fri, 2022-07-15 08:30

With real estate prices skyrocketing and remote work offering an opportunity for more flexibility, New York City has seen a recent uptick in wealthy residents leaving for greener pastures. The Onion spoke with several affluent former New Yorkers about why they left and this is what they said.

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Categories: The Onion

New Windex Formula Removes Menacing Apparitions From Mirror

The Onion - Fri, 2022-07-15 06:45

RACINE, WI—Touting the cleaning product’s dual use on both beings from parallel pockets of existence and the spirit world, SC Johnson introduced a new Windex formula Friday for removing menacing apparitions from the mirror. “There’s nothing more off-putting than a dirty mirror covered with streaks and a shadowy,…

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Categories: The Onion

U.S. Tourist Taking Selfie Falls Into Mount Vesuvius

The Onion - Fri, 2022-07-15 06:30

A 23-year-old American tourist in Italy survived a fall into the crater of Mount Vesuvius, the 4,000-foot-tall volcano that destroyed the Roman city of Pompeii, as he tried reaching for his phone to take a selfie. What do you think?

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Categories: The Onion

Fans Reflexively Hold Breath Every Time Chet Holmgren Moves

The Onion - Fri, 2022-07-15 06:15

BROKEN ARROW, OK—Clutching the arms of their chairs and forcing themselves not to look away, the entire fanbase of the Oklahoma City Thunder was reportedly reflexively holding their breath during a game Thursday night every time rookie center Chet Holmgren moved. “I can’t watch,” several Thunder fans gathered at a…

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Categories: The Onion

U.S. Gas Prices Fall After Single Nod From Figure At Head Of Table In Shadowy Boardroom

The Onion - Fri, 2022-07-15 06:00

NEW YORK—Offering relief to consumers after months of feeling the squeeze, gas prices across the nation reportedly fell Friday after a single nod was issued from a figure at the head of a table in a shadowy boardroom. According to sources, the curt, nearly imperceptible motion set off a wave of low whispers and a…

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Categories: The Onion

How Educators in Brookline, Massachusetts, Won an Illegal Strike

Steward's Corner - Thu, 2022-07-14 20:13

Striking has been illegal for public employees in Massachusetts since 1919. But in Brookline, a small suburb of Boston, we did it anyway.

Out of a membership of 1,100, more than 900 signed in on the picket lines May 16. The strike culminated with a thousand educators descending on town hall for a rally with allies from around the state.

Categories: Labor Notes

How Educators in Brookline, Massachusetts, Won an Illegal Strike

Magazine Stories - Thu, 2022-07-14 20:13

Striking has been illegal for public employees in Massachusetts since 1919. But in Brookline, a small suburb of Boston, we did it anyway.

Out of a membership of 1,100, more than 900 signed in on the picket lines May 16. The strike culminated with a thousand educators descending on town hall for a rally with allies from around the state.

Categories: Labor Notes

Iran: Miners Reportedly Arrested Following Strike

LabourStart - Thu, 2022-07-14 20:00
LabourStart headline - Source: RFE
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