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Fisher-Price Plastic Food Giving Kids Unrealistic Expectation That There Will Be Enough Food
EAST AURORA, NY—In a severe backlash from parents on social media, toy manufacturer Fisher-Price was hit with criticism Monday over their plastic food reportedly giving kids unrealistic expectations that there will be enough food. “The people who run Fisher-Price ought to be ashamed that their plastic peanut butter…
Guy Being Electrocuted Embarrassed Everyone Can See His Whole Skeleton Right Now
NASHVILLE, TN—Trying to shrink down lower into his chair, Riverbend Maximum Security Institution prisoner Bertram Ray told reporters Monday he is embarrassed that everyone can currently see his whole skeleton while he is being electrocuted. “It’s one thing to go out with 1,750 volts of electricity pumped through your…
Amazing In-Flight Perks That Airlines Had In The 1960s
If you think Spirit Airlines is luxurious, just wait until you see this. Here are the most amazing in-flight perks that airlines had in the 1960s.
Realistic Concept Art For New Luxury Condos Features Homeless Man Getting Arrested
LOS ANGELES—Displaying incredible accuracy in its rendering of the high-end property, the realistic concept art for a new luxury condominium complex in the Echo Park neighborhood of Los Angeles features a homeless man getting arrested, observers reported Friday. “Oh wow, yeah, would you look at that—there’s a guy on…
Woman At Potluck Disappointed After No One Even Tried Napkins She Brought
CHICAGO—Appearing crestfallen as people sampled the various items on the table but hers remained untouched, local woman Melissa Ogilvy told reporters Friday she was disappointed that no one at the potluck supper she was attending had even tried the napkins she brought. “I assumed everyone would want at least one of…
What To Know About Covid Vaccines For Kids Under 5
The FDA recently granted emergency authorization to two coronavirus vaccines for children under 5 years old, the first such immunizations approved for this age group. The Onion answers the most pressing questions about Covid vaccines for infants and toddlers.
CEO Doesn’t Expect Any Upcoming Layoffs Employees Deserve To Know About
SAN FRANCISCO—Assuring his staff that he would always be as open and honest with them about the business as necessary, Edgemere Media CEO Michael Breznick confirmed Monday that he didn’t expect any upcoming layoffs that employees deserved to know about. “I know that many of you have been concerned about our profits…
Polio Detected In U.K. For First Time In 40 Years
British health officials have identified a likely outbreak of polio in London for the first time in 40 years, finding multiple versions of the virus in sewage water. What do you think?
Study Finds Women 32% More Likely To Die After Surgery Performed By Male Janitor
NEW YORK—Shedding light on the stark disparities female patients face in the healthcare system, a Columbia University study published Monday found that women are 32% more likely to die after a surgery performed by a male janitor. “Sadly, many women in our country’s hospitals don’t receive proper care from male…
Australia: Years of inaction widens gender pay gap
Global: Inflation sparks global wave of protests for higher pay
Supreme Court Issues Decision Making It Easier To Carry Guns In Public
The Supreme Court has ruled that Americans have a right to carry firearms in public for self-defense, a major expansion of gun rights likely to lead to more people legally armed in cities and beyond. What do you think?
Supreme Court Votes 5-4 To Make It Illegal For Women To Deceive Men With Makeup