CORVALLIS, OR—After insisting that her husband and children put away their devices while they were at the table, local mom Lana Pickens explained to reporters Monday that her family had a rule about never eating cell phones at dinner. “This is the one time of day when we’re all able to be together, so it’s important…
NEW CANAAN, CT—Sources familiar with the man’s role in his child’s life confirmed to reporters Monday that local dad Marcus Weir’s parenting strategy is solely focused on ensuring his son doesn’t become a New York Yankees fan. Beginning shortly after his son Miles’ birth nine years ago, Weir reportedly concentrated…
MOBILE, AL—Stumbling around and shouting to anyone who was willing to listen, the nation’s visibly intoxicated dive bar couples held a press conference Monday to announce their plan to sloppily make out with each other after engaging in a screaming match. “We are here today to fucking let all y’all fucking know that…
Ron DeSantis launched his 2024 presidential campaign in an online Twitter Spaces event with Elon Musk that was marred by 25 minutes of technical glitches where the audio stream crashed repeatedly, making it impossible for most users to hear the new presidential candidate in real time. What do you think?
PORT ARANSAS, TX—Suspecting the worst, local man Daniel Koleva reportedly spent several panicked moments during his beach trip Friday worried that his wife, Bethany Koleva, hadn’t surfaced for air yet because she was cheating on him. “There’s no reason for her to be down there that long unless she’s seeing someone…
NEW YORK—Pointing out possible clues hidden in the lyrics, Taylor Swift fans were reportedly speculating Friday who the pop star might be talking about in her new song “My Weird Little Racist Guy.” “The line about him being ‘really creepy’ totally made me think John Mayer or Taylor Lautner, but then she sings about…