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The Onion’s Summer 2022 Movie Preview

The Onion - Thu, 2022-06-23 08:00

With the coronavirus pandemic pretend over and summer in full swing, Americans are headed back inside to the movie theaters where it’s nice and cool. The Onion highlights the most-anticipated films of summer 2022.

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IT Guy Requests Employees Stop Placing Difficult-To-Remove Stickers On Him

The Onion - Thu, 2022-06-23 08:00

CHICAGO—Emphasizing that people were specifically forbidden from vandalizing things that were technically company property, local IT guy Ron Freeman told employees Thursday to stop placing difficult-to-remove stickers on him. “Hi all, just a reminder to please, please stop putting stickers on my body—it’s unsightly,…

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Categories: The Onion

Russian Journalist Auctions Off Nobel Peace Prize For $103.5 Million To Help Ukraine

The Onion - Thu, 2022-06-23 08:00

Dmitry Muratov, the co-winner of the 2021 Nobel Peace Prize and the editor of one of Russia’s last major independent newspapers, auctioned off his Nobel medal for a record $103.5 million to aid children displaced by the war in Ukraine. What do you think?

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Things To Never Say To Someone Who Owns A Pit Bull

The Onion - Thu, 2022-06-23 08:00

Most pit bull owners are just as insane as the dogs they own. Never say the following things to someone who has a pit bull.

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Grandma Coughing Better These Days

The Onion - Thu, 2022-06-23 08:00

LOUISVILLE, KY—Confirming that the woman finally turned a corner after symptoms first developed more than 20 years ago, sources confirmed Thursday that local grandmother Patricia Riner was coughing better these days. “She seems to be turning less purple during it, which is good,” said daughter Lori Billig, Riner’s…

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Supreme Court Approves Use Of Public Money For Religious Education

The Onion - Wed, 2022-06-22 15:47

The Supreme Court ruled that Maine cannot exclude religious schools from a state tuition assistance program, a decision that critics say further erodes the separation of church and state. What do you think?

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Experts Recommend Raising Minimum Age For Committing Mass Shootings To 21

The Onion - Wed, 2022-06-22 14:40

WASHINGTON—In a policy recommendation they described as an important first step toward ending the nation’s gun violence epidemic, experts at the Brookings Institution suggested Wednesday that the minimum age for committing a mass shooting be raised to 21. “Though it would not prevent all deadly gun rampages,…

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New Footage Shows Uvalde Police Rushing Into School To Take Selfies With Shooter

The Onion - Wed, 2022-06-22 14:35

UVALDE, TX—Creating another wave of anger toward the beleaguered police department, new footage released Wednesday showed Uvalde officers rushing into Robb Elementary School to take selfies with the shooter. “These police officers could have stopped the shooter in three minutes, but instead, they wasted over an hour…

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A First Contract for Mexican GM Plant's Independent Union

Steward's Corner - Wed, 2022-06-22 11:00

An independent union at General Motors in Silao, Mexico, has ratified its first contract, with an 8.5 percent wage hike and benefit improvements—outstripping recent wage increases at other Mexican auto plants.

Categories: Labor Notes

A First Contract for Mexican GM Plant's Independent Union

Magazine Stories - Wed, 2022-06-22 11:00

An independent union at General Motors in Silao, Mexico, has ratified its first contract, with an 8.5 percent wage hike and benefit improvements—outstripping recent wage increases at other Mexican auto plants.

Categories: Labor Notes

Videos from the 2022 Labor Notes Conference

Steward's Corner - Wed, 2022-06-22 10:18

Wow! What an amazing weekend. Thank you to all 4,000 troublemakers who converged in Chicago June 17-19 and made this year's Labor Notes Conference incredible.

The energy you brought, the stories you shared, the connections you made, the ideas and plans you're bringing back home—that's what it's all about.

Special thanks to everyone who volunteered their time, interpreted between languages, donated money, spoke in workshops and panels, led meetings, and shared songs, poems, and art!

Categories: Labor Notes

Videos from the 2022 Labor Notes Conference

Magazine Stories - Wed, 2022-06-22 10:18

Wow! What an amazing weekend. Thank you to all 4,000 troublemakers who converged in Chicago June 17-19 and made this year's Labor Notes Conference incredible.

The energy you brought, the stories you shared, the connections you made, the ideas and plans you're bringing back home—that's what it's all about.

Special thanks to everyone who volunteered their time, interpreted between languages, donated money, spoke in workshops and panels, led meetings, and shared songs, poems, and art!

Categories: Labor Notes

Preacher Not Drenched In Sweat Must Not Be Very Connected To Holy Spirit

The Onion - Wed, 2022-06-22 08:10

SAVANNAH, GA—Remarking upon his ability to proclaim the Gospel of the Lord without his pulse even rising, congregants at the local Church of the Divine Jesus told reporters Wednesday that their preacher, who was not drenched in perspiration, clearly had no direct connection to the Holy Spirit. “How am I supposed to…

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Categories: The Onion

Florida Only State Not Preordering Toddler Covid-19 Vaccines

The Onion - Wed, 2022-06-22 08:00

Florida governor Ron DeSantis has announced that he will not facilitate distribution of the Covid-19 vaccine for toddlers ahead of its final approval by the government, making Florida the only state not to do so, which could delay availability to children’s hospitals. What do you think?

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Categories: The Onion
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