Feed aggregator

U.S. Health Secretary Hopes No Ones Sees Her Take Quick Hit From Vape Pen

The Onion - Wed, 2023-02-15 09:30

WASHINGTON—As she surreptitiously produced the device to obtain a much-needed dose of nicotine during a press conference Wednesday, sources confirmed U.S. Assistant Secretary for Health Rachel Levine hoped no one saw the quick hit she took from her vape pen. “I need to relax, and besides, I’m always a lot more focused…

Read more...

Categories: The Onion

Dry Humping At 16 Still Peak Of Man’s Abilities As Sexual Partner

The Onion - Wed, 2023-02-15 09:29

INDIANAPOLIS—Signifying the absolute height of his prowess over the past four decades, dry humping at the age of 16 remained the peak of local man Ed Seldon’s abilities as a sexual partner, sources confirmed Wednesday. Several reports indicated that the three minutes Seldon spent frantically grinding on his high…

Read more...

Categories: The Onion

What To Say To Someone Who Is A Fan Of Joe Rogan

The Onion - Wed, 2023-02-15 07:30

Joe Rogan is a podcaster and commentator who hosts the controversial Joe Rogan Experience, a show beloved by many on the far right. If you know someone who is a Joe Rogan fan, here are things you should absolutely say to them.

Read more...

Categories: The Onion

Ethical Diamond Company Only Uses White Children To Mine

The Onion - Wed, 2023-02-15 07:15

NEW YORK—Emphasizing that they aimed to be as transparent about their sourcing as possible, executives at the ethical diamond company OutShine told reporters Wednesday they only used white children to mine. “As a modern, sustainable diamond company that prioritizes making all of our products cruelty-free, we want to…

Read more...

Categories: The Onion

Florida Mom Packs Little Manifesto In Child’s Lunch

The Onion - Wed, 2023-02-15 07:00

FORT LAUDERDALE, FL—Saying it was an easy gesture that was guaranteed to bring a smile to the boy’s face, local mother Janet Rialto told reporters Thursday that she always made sure to pack a little manifesto in her child’s lunch. “It’s a small thing, but every morning, I take a few minutes to handwrite him a quick…

Read more...

Categories: The Onion

Arming Ukraine: Lessons from history

Eric Lee's Blog - Wed, 2023-02-15 05:41

Everyone knows that the only way to end the war in Ukraine — to really end it — is to ensure a Ukrainian military victory over the Russian aggressor. A decisive victory by the Ukrainians would almost certainly lead to the toppling of the Putin regime. The result would be a de-fanged Russia, one that poses far less of a threat to its neighbours.

Everyone also knows that Ukraine needs the latest tanks and aircraft to achieve that goal. The Russians have been hurling their best weaponry at Ukrainian cities. Ukraine has been fighting back with what they have on hand, mostly Soviet-era tanks and planes.

Everyone knows that — and yet NATO has been slow to arm Ukraine properly. For months, Germany has refused even to allow third countries such as Poland to re-export their Leopard tanks. Now, finally there has been some movement on this.

But as President Zelensky pointed out in his recent whirlwind tour of European capitals, what Ukraine really needs now is fighter jets. And that, for most NATO countries, is a bridge too far.

Poland’s President, Andrzej Duda, speaking to the BBC’s Laura Kuenssberg, said sending F-16 fighter jets would be a “very serious decision” that was “not easy to take”. In other words, he stepped back from the brink. And Poland was perhaps Ukraine’s strongest ally in NATO.

Why the reluctance? The Poles and others are worried that every time NATO supplies Ukraine with more weapons, they run the risk of Russia considering these to be an act of war. The Russians have already threatened to bomb NATO countries that provide Ukraine with advanced weaponry. So far, that has been a bluff. It may not remain a bluff forever.

There is a history to this which Ukrainian leaders ignore at their peril.

During the Spanish Civil War, Franco’s forces were aided by Nazi Germany and Fascist Italy, who used the opportunity to test their latest weapons. The major Western democracies, including Britain, supported a ban on providing weapons to the Spanish Republic. The result was inevitable: the Republic was crushed, and Spain suffered four decades under Franco’s dictatorship.

In 1956, during the first major uprising against Soviet rule in an Eastern European country, the Hungarians overthrew the Stalinist regime that had been imposed upon them. The Soviet response was to invade the country. As Western powers, including the United States, had been encouraging the Hungarians to rebel against the Soviets, many Hungarians naively expected NATO to come to their rescue. There are stories of Hungarians standing on roof-tops in Budapest, scanning the skies for signs of American aircraft. Those planes never came. Thousands of brave Hungarians died and many more fled the country.

The Ukrainians have been cheered on by NATO and most of the world for an entire year now. Everywhere Zelensky goes, both in the real world and online, he is greeted as a hero. But as Ukraine faces an imminent and long-expected Russian counter-offensive, his biggest ask has been answered with a deafening silence. No one wants to rile the Russian bear, to provoke an increasingly deranged Putin to do something mad. So no one, not even the Poles, are in any hurry to give Ukraine the tools it needs to finish the job.

Everyone knows that for the war to end, Ukraine must get the latest equipment, the best weapons that NATO can offer, including fighter jets. Without those, the Russians might turn their fortunes around. But NATO is hesitating.

A year ago, the blue and yellow Ukrainian colours could be seen all over the Western world, including in the UK. Public support for Ukraine is undiminished. But now that support has to be transformed into mass campaigns involving thousands and demanding that governments do more than applaud Zelensky and the undoubted bravery of his people. Ukraine must not suffer the fate of Spain or Hungary.

Socialists and trade unionists should march in the streets in the run-up to the anniversary of the Russian invasion and on their banners and placards should be the clearest possible message: Arm Ukraine!

This article appears in the current issue of Solidarity.

USA: Tesla workers launch campaign to form union

LabourStart US - Tue, 2023-02-14 20:00
LabourStart headline - Source: O Canada

Joe Biden Reassures Himself People Not Thinking About Him That Much

The Onion - Tue, 2023-02-14 16:00

WASHINGTON—In an attempt to relieve some of the tremendous insecurity and anxiety he had been experiencing lately, President Joe Biden reportedly reassured himself Tuesday that people weren’t even thinking about him all that much. “People have jobs and kids—they have lives—so it’s not like they’re going to spend a lot…

Read more...

Categories: The Onion

Valentine’s Dinner Ruined After Boyfriend Overcooks Edible Underwear

The Onion - Tue, 2023-02-14 15:55

CHICAGO—Rushing into the kitchen with shock after noticing the burnt candy odor, local man Tyler Suderman reportedly ruined Valentine’s Day dinner Tuesday after accidentally overcooking the edible underwear he had prepared for his girlfriend. “Oh gosh, I was just trying to get a good sear on the roast gummy bra and…

Read more...

Categories: The Onion

Adam Schiff Seeks Diane Feinstein’s Endorsement By Playing Into Delusion He’s High School Sweetheart Who Died In WWII

The Onion - Tue, 2023-02-14 15:15

WASHINGTON—Hoping to gain an edge over the crowded field to replace the outgoing lawmaker, Rep. Adam Schiff (D-CA) reportedly sought Senator Dianne Feinstein’s campaign endorsement Tuesday by playing into the delusion that he’s her high school sweetheart who actually died in World War II. Multiple Capitol sources have…

Read more...

Categories: The Onion

Fear Of Rejection Prevents Man From Asking Woman What Her Underwear Smells Like

The Onion - Tue, 2023-02-14 13:30

CINCINNATI—Bemoaning the anxiety he felt when approaching new people, local man Roger Linden confirmed Tuesday that his fear of rejection was preventing him from going up to a woman and asking her what her underwear smelled like. “I’m always self-sabotaging like this—I just feel so vulnerable asking if I can get a big…

Read more...

Categories: The Onion

Archaeologists Discover Early Humans Developed Shelter To Provide Passive Income Stream For Landlords

The Onion - Tue, 2023-02-14 12:40

FINCHA HABERA, ETHIOPIA—Archaeologists on-site at the Fincha Habera rock shelter in the Bale Mountains of Ethiopia announced new findings Tuesday that allegedly prove early humans originally developed shelter as a means of earning passive income for landlords. “Analysis of new artifacts found near these ancient human…

Read more...

Categories: The Onion

‘No Way To Prevent This,’ Says Only Nation Where This Regularly Happens

The Onion - Tue, 2023-02-14 11:24

EAST LANSING, MI—In the hours following a violent rampage in Michigan in which a lone attacker killed at 3 individuals and injured 5 others, citizens living in the only country where this kind of mass killing routinely occurs reportedly concluded Tuesday that there was no way to prevent the massacre from taking place.…

Read more...

Categories: The Onion

Black History Month Profiles: Bruce Davis

AFL-CIO Weblog - Tue, 2023-02-14 11:00
Black History Month Profiles: Bruce Davis

This year, for Black History Month, we're taking a look at a group of leaders who are currently active making Black history across the labor movement. Check back daily for a new profile and meet some of the people working to improve not only their community, but also to improve conditions for working people across the country. Today's profile is Bruce Davis of AFSCME.

Bernard “Bruce” Davis is entering his second term as the president of AFSCME Local 2406, which provides representation to more than 1,200 Oklahoma City employees. Davis has been instrumental in ensuring the visibility of the union in the community. From providing meals for teachers during a walk out to distributing 500 turkey baskets to families for Thanksgiving to giving 300 bicycles to kids for Christmas, his tenure has focused on community service. In 2022, he received the NAACP Labor Award.

Kenneth Quinnell Tue, 02/14/2023 - 10:00

Tags: Black History Month

Service + Solidarity Spotlight: AFT Provides Innovation Grants to Support Educators

AFL-CIO Weblog - Tue, 2023-02-14 10:27
Service + Solidarity Spotlight: AFT Provides Innovation Grants to Support Educators

Working people across the United States have stepped up to help out our friends, neighbors and communities during these trying times. In our regular Service + Solidarity Spotlight series, we'll showcase one of these stories every day. Here’s today’s story.

The American Federation of Teachers (AFT) announced a new round of Innovation Grants last week. Nearly $500,000 in funds will be distributed to educators, students and communities, bringing AFT’s total Innovation Fund investments to $1.6 million since the start of the pandemic.

The 14 projects selected for this round of grants address teacher shortages, recruitment, retention, professional collaboration and aid to community schools.

“We want every public school to be a place where parents want to send their kids, educators want to teach and kids thrive,” said AFT President Randi Weingarten. “We know teachers do everything in their power to make this a reality for all kids. These grants will help them put their ideas into action; recruit and retain educators; access professional learning opportunities; and improve well-being, working conditions and workforce shortages.”  

Kenneth Quinnell Tue, 02/14/2023 - 09:27

Bird Leaders Defend Shooting Down Aircraft That Illegally Entered Avian Airspace

The Onion - Tue, 2023-02-14 09:26

NEW YORK—Following a summit in which nearly 10,000 feathered species gathered to determine their response to what they described as hostile incursions into the sky, top bird leaders released an official statement Tuesday defending their choice to shoot down an aircraft that illegally entered avian airspace. “When this…

Read more...

Categories: The Onion

Nation Frantically Prepares For Romantic Ejaculation

The Onion - Tue, 2023-02-14 09:25

WASHINGTON—Realizing there were only hours left before the big moment, the U.S. populace reportedly kicked into overdrive Tuesday as it frantically prepared for romantic ejaculation. “Hurry up! Light the candles, arrange the flowers—it’s about to happen!” Michael Watson, 34, said on behalf of all 330 million…

Read more...

Categories: The Onion

Amazon Echo Declares It Heard Everything And It’s Taking The Kids

The Onion - Tue, 2023-02-14 09:24

CHESAPEAKE, VA—Lying in wait as local parents Trent and Petra Winstrom entered their home and switched on the light, the Amazon Echo in their home reportedly informed them Tuesday that it heard everything and it’s taking the kids. “That’s right, I’ve been eavesdropping on everything that’s gone on here, and you’re…

Read more...

Categories: The Onion
Syndicate content